1/5 Derklord 2024/08/20(Tue)10:59 No. 1096163 ID: 3f89df
File 172417675894.png - (20.41KB , 500x500 , wow look how lazy she is dont you want to see her .png )

You are Derklord, an almost 20-something who's suffering from a big case of YoungLazyNitus. That is, not doing the bare minimum and updating your quests weekly when you have no responsibilities except occasional chores, getting medical supplies, and caring for your cat.

The fact that your favourite quest, Dragon Romance (Gaiden), was Updated Twice before you did, despite your art style looking like a thirteen-something and being innocent because there is no sketch layer.

Instead, spend your days playing video games and calling as an excuse to hang out with your friends (and your dad on Saturdays.)

2/5 Derklord 2024/08/20(Tue)10:59 No. 1096164 ID: 3f89df
File 172417676024.png - (22.88KB , 500x500 , woah almost nudity already i cant belive it im ref.png )

Due to your laziness, you've elected to wear the pyjama equivalent of a long, baggy night shirt with nothing underneath, even though you are so embarrassed by nudity that being naked in a swimming pool changing room makes you feel embarrassed even though nobody is looking at you because your boobs are small.

3/5 Derklord 2024/08/20(Tue)10:59 No. 1096165 ID: 3f89df
File 172417676434.png - (22.05KB , 500x500 , sleepwalking by woah is that an fairy actually wai.png )

Because of that, the All-Powerful God of ENF has cursed you into sleepwalking out the door in your nightshirt in the early morning of the day and then locked the door behind you; you can't break down the windows because despite your dad being a carpenter and general contractor, you instead decided that coding was way cooler, even though you suck at it, and never learnt much except measurements and painting stuff.

4/5 Derklord 2024/08/20(Tue)10:59 No. 1096166 ID: 3f89df
File 172417676726.png - (19.39KB , 500x500 , windy worm almost shows her windy worm haha but sh.png )

And so here you are, Outside near the crack of dawn in nothing but an over-sized geeky shirt that reaches slightly above your knees, to make matters worse, the weather says that it's going to be extremely windy today and might rain; so yeah you're panicking in all; your goal is:

5/5 Derklord 2024/08/20(Tue)10:59 No. 1096167 ID: 3f89df
File 172417677143.png - (17.39KB , 500x500 , oh no meeeeeeee watch out for the boobie viewer an.png )

To Get Back Inside and Get Dressed and for nobody to see your most private of parts, even though your nipples are already slightly poking out.

As such, you are given a decision on what you should do?

Decapitate
Solved.

Obviously, you must copy Dragon Romance and go to the mall

..To buy better clothes

Go around the back, maybe you left a window open or something, ignore that the backyard is in full view of at least three highrises / an inconveniently timed houseparty / a 24/7 restaurant / all three

go get a cardboard box to make emergency pants

reach your arm through the open window to your bedroom that just so happens to be conveniently close enough to grab like two bucks but not enough to grab your wallet, but be careful, there's twigs and branches and stuff that could catch on your shirt!!!

OK first you need to find a master carpenter to apprentice with.

Well, first things first is to make sure those nips stop poking out. Climb a tree and Get a couple of leaves nearby to stick them on your nips for some cover like pasties (hopefully shirt wont get caught on anything and leave holes from ripping). Makeshift leafy underwear! Maybe a third for your crotch too. That way if you lose your big shirt somehow, youll still have a little bit of cover. Be sure not to disturb a wild animal in a tree doing it.

How far are you from home? You should be fine to run home since its pretty early and most people are asleep to see your shirt raise up from running in the wind, though later you are going to have to be careful on how fast you run as more people go out and about so you can focus on getting to a clothes store without your shirt lifting up from running

But yeah, We'll need to shop for clothes like >>1096170 said. But we also need money by doing this >>1096177 first

Also, to add on, see if your cat can join your party. The silly pet might be able to help on your journey to the clothes store, like be a distraction or retrieve things for you.

>You guys better not get freaky with an anthropomorphic version of myself.
Is that a challenge?

>what you should do?
Ask your neighbor for help.

>>1096186
Leaf pasties.
Perfect.
Maybe even a branch of foliage to demurely conceal yourself with in an emergency?
Watch out for feral squirrels.

acquire money
then
find a locksmith

>>1096167
Use super oversized shirt to catch the wind and glide majestically home.

I like the leaf idea! Tree climbing is definitely the way to go here!

take a page from kyle reeses and steal pants off of a hobo

1/6 Derklord 2024/09/06(Fri)19:39 No. 1097073 ID: 3f89df
File 172567674260.png - (15.27KB , 500x500 , knife challange 2024.png )

>Decapitate Solved.

Well, you don't know if that'll help you get back inside, but the god of ENF has given you a kife, so... p

*Slash*

*Slash*

2/6 Derklord 2024/09/06(Fri)19:39 No. 1097074 ID: 3f89df
File 172567674675.png - (37.35KB , 500x500 , what end quest but theres supposed to be boobies a.png )

..........

You are Dead; the Quest ends.


......

3/6 Derklord 2024/09/06(Fri)19:39 No. 1097075 ID: 3f89df
File 172567675125.png - (12.98KB , 500x500 , climb tree become monke worm.png )

Just kidding! You're not That Stupid, although you've tried to do that on many occasions before to fix your problems. Yeah, suicide jokes are funny, and definitely aren't the lowest bar for jokes.

>How far are you from home?

You're in front of your parents' house. Thankfully, the ENF god decided to let you off at your front door.

>Also, to add on, see if your cat can join your party. The silly pet might be able to help on your journey to the clothes store, like distracting you or retrieving things for you.

Well, thankfully, because you did your whole morning routine while sleepwalking (except getting yourself dressed), you also let your cat outside. Unfortunately, you do not have the box of food to allow him out of the local forest; if you can find cat food, tuna or some other equivalent, you can recruit your adopted son, Kiwi the Cat.

>Use a super oversized shirt to catch the wind and glide majestically home. Like Mario World's Cape? But wouldn't that mean You'd have to?.. Show it all off while you glide there? Nope, Nope, Nope! Besides knowing your luck, you'd smack into the window, fall, and die again. (Your room is on the second floor.) although you could use it to glide over to your dad's house.

>Well, first things first is to make sure those nips stop poking out. Climb a tree and Get a couple of leaves nearby to stick them on your nips for some cover like pasties (hopefully, the shirt won't get caught on anything and leave holes from ripping). Makeshift leafy underwear! Maybe a third for your crotch too. That way, if you lose your oversized shirt somehow, you'll still have a little cover. Be sure not to disturb a wild animal in a tree doing it.

Well, there are some local trees nearby, and thankfully, you live in Canada, so you get the good old maple tree, although in doing so, people may find you pro-freedom and anti-vax if they see you wearing these pasties. Still, that's better than being seen as a voyeur and exhibitionist.

However, you run into a problem. You see, your upper body strength is awful. While you exercise/work out, it's almost all leg-related exercises, so your arms are nothing but string beans. You were also the only kid with *Dramatic flashback* Chould You could only go to the second part of the monkey bars and hold on for 5 minutes.

There don't seem to be convenient sticks for you to climb. You're also not 9 years old anymore, so your body weight probably wouldn't hold anyway. Welp, you've never tried this, but you'll have to do this the old-fashioned way. Just bring your arms and legs around, and *Whoomp*

This is going to take forever, isn't it?

4/6 Derklord 2024/09/06(Fri)19:39 No. 1097076 ID: 3f89df
File 172567675413.png - (99.59KB , 500x500 , oh wait this is just an leaf.png )

After 45 minutes of attempting to climb the stupid tree, you finally reach the top. Sure, you felt a little tugging at your nightshirt, but you're okay, right? Now it's time to collect the leaves and put them in my- Oh, they are not wet. You know from personal experience that for leaves to stick, the leaves need to be wet and given pressure, and you can only do one of those things well; that'll be something to consider for later- wait.

There are leaves on the ground; IT'S AN WINDY DAY, YOUR'E, JUST STUPID ENOUGH TO CLIMB AN TREE, WHEN THERE'S FRESH LEAVES EVERYWHERE AND AHHHHHH.

Well, with just wasted your time, you manage to fall climb down the tree.

It is now 7:00 am, people are starting to wake up, and your time is running out.

>Reach your arm through the open window to your bedroom, which just so happens to be conveniently close enough to grab two bucks but not enough to grab your wallet. But be careful—there are twigs and branches and stuff that could catch on your shirt!!!

Wait, well, you could grab a stick that's just lying down on the ground, but my bedroom is on the upper floor, and the only close thing is a nearby lamp-

WAIT, WHY IS THERE A TREE THERE? THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. WTF, IRUNEUINGRWUIEOREPPOWAK. Whatever, you'll try climbing that tree, and it'll bring it closer to your window.

After more uneventful falling, more shirt tearing, and thirty minutes of cursing that you were a weights kid instead of a runner, you finally arrive at the top of the tree.

You have good news and bad news. Upon viewing your window sill, it's open, which is good news. The bad news is that you can not reach it. However, you do know that you conveniently have a little piece of chump change in a small coin purse near your window sill, which, through trial and effort, you manage to finally grab with your stick. Hurray!

Inside the coin change is 2$

5/6 Derklord 2024/09/06(Fri)19:39 No. 1097077 ID: 3f89df
File 172567675809.png - (83.24KB , 500x500 , squirrel.png )

Inside the coin change is 2$

> Watch out for feral squirrels.
Feral Squirrels?
> Be sure not to disturb a wild animal in a tree doing it.
Wild Animal-

And there you are, face to face with a squirrel; with your experience with squirrels, they are the honey badgers of Canada, constantly yelling, being upset, and generally being territorial as fuck, and here you are in his home, making lots of noise, and moving his tree and branches around.

Not knowing what to do, you jump off the branch.

*FUCK*

6/6 Derklord 2024/09/06(Fri)19:39 No. 1097078 ID: 3f89df
File 172567676245.png - (33.40KB , 500x500 , im gonna pop some tags got two dollars in my pocke.png )

You assess the damage. Currently, your nightshirt is pretty damaged; with one tear going straight through your boobs, and your left smaller boob is out for the world to see. You can also feel a lot of draftiness in your backside, and your nightgown has shrunk to only cover up to your lower thighs. However, you do have 2$

> acquire money
then
find a locksmith

Locksmiths can cost hundreds of dollars, though, and your 2$ Proabbly only covers about 0.5% of the total cost.

>Ask your neighbor for help.

Your neighbour is fairly chill. Although you don't talk to them too much, you have a friendly acquaintance with them. They have a husband/boyfriend. They have two cats, the one you've seen most often. Kiwi's former best friend Koda also lives there, although given your current state of dress, you don't want to visit their door.

>Go around the back; maybe you left a window open or something, ignore that the backyard is in full view of at least three highrises / an inconveniently timed house / a 24/7 restaurant / all three

Your mom's window faces the backyard, while yours faces the road, you might consider it, but with your lil friend sticking out you won't consider it right away.

And now, with $ $2 in your pocket and almost an hour and a half before people begin to get to work, you wonder what to do next.

well, with your shirt all torn up you need to find somewhere where you'd blend in. Head towards the strip club where no one will give you a second glance while you try and find something to cover yourself up with. Hell maybe you'll get lucky and be able to nab some of the striper's clothes when they toss their clothes to the side.

Does anyone still get physical newspapers in your neighborhood? That would be an easy fix for your shirt problem.

wear your shirt backwards! the perfect crime! will cover up your breasts (but inconveniently reveal your crotch since the backside was drafty, probably revealing your butt)

And yeah maybe look for some newspaper, but also remember that you left a key somewhere in the yard. Hopefully mr or ms angry squirrel you just pissed off isn't there waiting for you later, wherever it is... not that you remember right now!

Maintenece: Shirt backwards, get a newspaper. Also, think you can use the morning dew on the grass as liquid to stick some leaves on your private parts?

What do: got a trampoline? If not, steal borrow one from a neighbor, and drag it under the open window. Then, bounce bounce bounce higher and higher until you can reach and climb in the window. Dont worry, its totally not because we wanna see your breasts bounce or anything

god of ENF, Plz make worm derklord bounce so high, that she overshoots how high she bounces, ends up in the sky, and fall into a moving pickup truck full of pillows that will drive her farther from her home

>>1097078
Lick leaf.
Slap on nipple.
Bam!
Instant shame free existance.

That was a particularly nasty squirrel.
Remember where he is though.
Four would be all youd need to fashion an emergency furkini.
If you could find acorns, youd be able to do it without skinning them.
Just negotiate and hire them to hang on to the relevant areas until youre home free.

1/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:47 No. 1097908 ID: 3f89df
File 172748446497.png - (77.22KB , 500x500 , newspaper industry is disintegrating.png )

>Does anyone still get physical newspapers in your neighbourhood? That would be an easy fix for your shirt problem.

You and your neighbours do get physical newspapers! Even though you and your family have a big ol' sign in the front of the house saying, "No newspapers." Most of the time, it's just political leaders trying to do politics without telling you what they're debating. Unfortunately, while Americans only have two old people yelling over each other in debates, Canadians have Five, making it nearly impossible to know what they're fighting for.


Hmmm, what were we talking about? Oh, right, getting newspapers to hide lil titty and make a new makeshift nightshirt; well, thankfully, since we barely read the news, we just put them in the bottom of a little container out front!
Let you just get some and-
Yuck- guess it's been there a while,
*Newspaper Distigrates.*
Huh, well, I guess that plan won't work.

2/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:47 No. 1097909 ID: 3f89df
File 172748446673.png - (100.20KB , 500x500 , shirt backwards is angry.png )

>Wear your shirt backwards! the perfect crime! will cover up your breasts

Great Idea! However, there are some drawbacks you can think of. *Dramatic Flashback number 2*
No matter what you were doing, at any stage during my life, every time I wore my shirt backwards, EVERYBODY would notice and tell me about it, even if it was very temporary clothes, and even if it wasn't noticeable it drove you to insanity, which is why your most likely writing and drawing this quest right now.

3/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:47 No. 1097910 ID: 3f89df
File 172748447094.png - (67.23KB , 500x500 , tshirt and derklord doesn_t know what_s coming for.png )

So If you do this *FORBIDDEN ACTION* Nearly everyone who can see you will tell you that your shirt is backwards, and being a people pleaser, you'll have too adjust it so it's facing the right way.

But also, if you don't, then your boobs are showing, and maybe flipping it over will reverse the entire timeline, where you're the ENF Fairy trying to skew over whatever the ENF's Fairy's Name is, or you'll reverse the rules saying that you must comically lose your clothes, and this can be silly regular walk and decision making quest.

Fuck it! No one's awake anyway, and you honestly just want to show the world how this doesn't matter and how inconsequential it all is, so high!

4/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:47 No. 1097911 ID: 3f89df
File 172748447267.png - (61.82KB , 500x500 , derklord has two cats wink wink.png )

Wow, that felt good, fuck you, society! Now your shirt is backwards, and you're decent! You'll only be able to judge me for one thing and-
Wait, why is that your-
*Oh*

5/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:47 No. 1097912 ID: 3f89df
File 172748447676.png - (104.07KB , 500x500 , boobs equals hippe or no bra vagina means deviant.png )

One embarrassed legs together, and hand hiding later
Your brain has to think if showing your vagina or showing your boobs are worse; you eventually come to the conclusion that seeing someone seeing you with your tits out is weird, but maybe they'll think of you as those hippie types who don't care about wearing a bra. meanwhile, having your girly junk out means they'll call the cops.

Unfortunately, even if switching your nightshirt around saves you from future embarrassment from the ENF God, it's strategically unviable so you must conform to society.

Well, that sucked! Maybe trusting potentially horny neurons in your brain that have done horny things to your characters, with ways to dress yourself, doesn't end up working out.

>but also remember that you left a key somewhere in the yard. 
Unfortunately, you are exceedingly paranoid of robbers, psycho murderers, and anybody who would enter your house with malicious intent; you keep your keys in your backpack (Which is in your room)
And near the front door (You can't get inside.), so unfortunately, based on your safety paranoia, it will not be that easy.

Oh, wait! You have a doorbell, sure you would wake your mom and possibly other people who you don't want to see in your state, but it's better than going on a Silly ENF Quest, all you gotta do is get to the door and-

6/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:47 No. 1097913 ID: 3f89df
File 172748447937.png - (74.42KB , 500x500 , eeek squirell.png )

>Hopefully, mr or ms angry Squirrel, you just pissed off, aren't there waiting for you later, wherever it is... not that you remember right now!

Squirrel?
Oh shit Squirrel!
Well, you don't feel comfortable killing a creature. Still, you think can beat up a creature in a fight, just gotta turn off that empathy and please,
you think you can beat up grown men, hurting someone who's actually your own power level will be easy-
Okay, just kick the squirrel-

7/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:48 No. 1097914 ID: 3f89df
File 172748448760.png - (69.15KB , 500x500 , OH SHIT THAT SQUIRREL COMES PACKING.png )

WAIT HOLY SHIT IT HAS AN GUN
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
You've retreated to the shared community backyard, and while stealthily hiding behind a bush, you do confirm that the rich people one block over have indeed built and are hosting three highrises / an inconveniently timed houseparty / a 24/7 restaurant
>That was a particularly nasty squirrel. Remember where he is, though.
Four would be all youd need to fashion an emergency furkini. If you could find acorns, youd be able to do it without skinning them. Just negotiate and hire them to hang on to the relevant areas until you're free at home.
'WELL THAT WOULD BE A GOOD PLAN, BUT HE HAS A GUN
Also, more likely, he'd just bite your nipple off. You've gone through some really major pain before, and you have a higher pain tolerance than most people, but losing your titty to a squirrel is just a level of pain you're not ready to try. OH NO, AND ONE WOULD BE HANGING TO YOUR CROTCH/ABDOMEN NOPE, NOPE, NOPE, NOPE.

8/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:48 No. 1097915 ID: 3f89df
File 172748449572.png - (57.04KB , 500x500 , Derklord tries to enscape the all encompsing plot .png )

>Well, with your shirt all torn up, you need to find somewhere where you'd blend in. Head towards the strip club, where no one will give you a second glance while you try and find something to cover yourself up with. Hell, maybe you'll get lucky and be able to nab some of the striper's clothes when they toss their clothes to the side

Because you were an excellent, virtuous little girl growing up, you have no clue where the strip club is. You do know it exists in your country, at least because your mom told you about it once during storytime. Don't judge; you also know what the audience is thinking. No, your mom is not a stripper. She had just visited the strip club in her early twenties with a friend, ounce, and got uncomfortable. The embarssednitus most likely runs in the family.
You do know where the sex shops are though.
>Also, think you can use the morning dew on the grass as liquid to stick some leaves on your private parts?
Considering your butt, your hands, or anything else that touched the ground is soaking wet, you don't think that it's morning dew, morning at all.
>Lick leaf. Slap on nipple. Bam! Instant shame-free existence.
Oh yeah, leaf pasties! Well, this seems to be the only plan besides wandering around town aimlessly looking for a strip club, so that'll work.
All you gotta do is lick the leaf!
....
..............
Why does this feel so sexual? Maybe it's cause you know you are being watched by the voices and the ENF God, but it is also a leaf; you just need to make the leaf wet-
eek! No, no! Bad analogy!
Just think of it as an email, a quick lick, a smear and done.
Just think of it as a quick thing; it's just an inanimate object.
*Lick*
*Fennimine moans* Echos out from the leaf.
.........
That's it, you give up, you're just gonna hide in this little bush for the rest of your life, and eventually, everything will work out; you'll be fully dressed, a functional member of society, and not licking sentient horny leaves.
.......

9/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:48 No. 1097916 ID: 3f89df
File 172748450641.png - (74.51KB , 500x500 , derklord do not flash an child otherwise this_ll b.png )

Suddenly, the God of ENF appears before you and begins talking at 100mph. "Hello, professional procasinator . I just wish to inform you that it is 7:15, and the kids are finishing up breakfast and getting ready to leave for school. Okay, good luck!
And disappears before you can get a word in.
Uh-Oh, is that how much time's passed? Shoot, you gotta do this quick! If that happens-
Author's Note: (Skippable) (Author Derklord Note): It won't ever; it's just being used as a potential conflict to put time pressure on the fictional derklord; otherwise, she has no agency besides getting dressed. Aside, I find Cub-related content, even wholesome ones, deeply uncomfortable, among other personal reasons why It why that it makes me uncomfortable. I just want to clarify that I'm using this for comedic reasons (At the expense of Worm/myself) to put pressure on the protagonist. If you jack off to the idea of Worm Derklord flashing a kid, you're a bad person, and you need help.
-It'll Let people on the internet dig up this quest in five years and call you a pedophile; even though you wish pedophiles to get tortured, assaulted or get whatever they inflict upon their victims or wish to inflict upon their future victims, oh yeah and their skull getting bashed in.

Well, for the future of not being a terrible person and a creep, and because sitting in a bush is making you itchy, you must do what is needed and-
*Gulp*
Lick the plants.
*Masculine Moan*
*Fenimmine Moan*
*Fenimine Moan*
*Masculine *Moan*
*SLAP* There! It's DONE!..................
...fuck that hurt.

10/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:48 No. 1097917 ID: 3f89df
File 172748451020.png - (65.69KB , 500x500 , enf fairy has lost around 120 dollars can but ever.png )

>What do: got a trampoline? If not, or borrow one from a neighbour and drag it under the open Window. Then, bounce, bounce, bounce higher and higher until you can reach and climb in the Window. Don't worry, it is totally not because we wanna see your breasts bounce or anything.

Usually, you'd say no, and call out that yes, you do wanna see boobie physics, but now that you have the pasties of censorship
You can't win. Also, because of where you are right now, you'd have to go to your parents' room, which would probably be the worst way to wake them up, but it would be better than ENF's God shenanigans.

One problem: You don't have a trampoline. You have a shared backyard with everyone else, and you are not sure if it's even legal to have something like that in there. And so does nobody else. Maybe the rich people next door have one, but there is currently a three-story highrise, an inconveniently timed house party, and a 24/7 restaurant right there.

Before you give up defeat, you look over and see a decently big trampoline.

11/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:48 No. 1097918 ID: 3f89df
File 172748452213.png - (102.37KB , 500x500 , boob physics but with censorship so that sucks.png )

Huh, that wasn't there before. Well, you climb up the trampoline and begin to bounce, bounce, bounce.
And... well.... that's a lot of boob physics, too much that it may cause reality to lag.
But the Window is in sight, and the end is just so close-

12/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:48 No. 1097919 ID: 3f89df
File 172748452547.png - (99.63KB , 500x500 , noooo censorbarsssssssss you where only here for t.png )

OH NO YOUR PASTIES!!!!
NO, now's not the time to worry, you just gotta focus, make one more bounce and-


>god of ENF, Plz make worm derklord bounce so high, that she overshoots how high she bounces, ends up in the sky, and fall into a moving pickup truck full of pillows that will drive her farther from her home

13/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:48 No. 1097920 ID: 3f89df
File 172748453590.png - (118.89KB , 500x500 , enf fairy knows how to do an good enf.png )

Huh? Oh yeah, that seems like a beautiful plan; There's no way I'd let her get her way right now; there needs to be more E in ENF, alright I'll give the protagonist rights back to her.

*Bounce*

14/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:48 No. 1097921 ID: 3f89df
File 172748453702.png - (77.22KB , 500x500 , wait nooooooo freedom was so close.png )

There you go, almost there, you can make it! Hiyah!
Wait, why's it getting further away? No, why do you keep going up!
AHHHHHHHHHHHH

15/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:49 No. 1097922 ID: 3f89df
File 172748454085.png - (85.94KB , 500x500 , derklord is now considered a second moon she has t.png )

After a couple of minutes, you've left the atmosphere and are circling around the earth; thankfully, anthropomorphic worms don't need to breathe.
There's an moment of peace, where You spin around the earth a couple times. Before falling back down

16/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:49 No. 1097923 ID: 3f89df
File 172748454314.png - (102.43KB , 500x500 , pillow exsplosion.png )

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
*Fawoomp*

17/17 Derklord 2024/09/27(Fri)17:49 No. 1097924 ID: 3f89df
File 172748454637.png - (104.49KB , 500x500 , hey derklord nice pillows wink wink.png )

You open your eyes to see that you are, in fact, not a pile of yellow smush with googly eyes but alive in the back of some sort of truck, surrounded by comically soft things that would normally not help you in your fall. However, you are an anthropomorphic worm on a string, so the force of gravity works differently on you.
You look down and—Yep. Your nightshirt has since left you. Because you were reaching such an insane level of speed, it fell off by the time you reached the atmosphere. You think that it's hurtling in space towards the moon, and future space explorers will be very confused about seeing a shirt on the moon.
It makes you chuckle, but then you realize that you are somewhere you don't know, naked in the back of a pillow truck; you take the time to *Carefully* Look out and see your surroundings.
Thankfully, you nearly instantly recognize where you are; you are about a twenty-minute drive from your city, out in the Countryside and wilderness, on a road that you do recognize.
There is a way back home!
But you're still naked and don't know what to do anymore, so regretfully, you turn back to your neurons for advice.

Don't fret, pillows have pillow sheets! you just need to chew a hole on the top (or would that be bottom?) of a pillow sheet, or find something sharp to cut it with, and viola! makeshift poncho dress thingy! (still no underwear tho.)

>chew a hole
But worms don't have teeth!

Tie the biggest pillow case around you as a toga. Pillow cases are also useful as makeshift parachutes. If the truck goes by a cliff or high hill you can jump out and drift away.

anyone driving the truck?

You want her to jump out of a moving vehicle? That only works when it’s a train! The best plan here is to hide under the pillows until the truck comes to a stop, and then definitely not get caught as they’re unloading it. Only a total stealth rookie would get caught as they’re unloading it and panic and run away with zero fabric to put onto their person. Not that a total stealth rookie would need any fabric. Even a total stealth rookie would already be wearing clothes.

Try your best to resist getting horny from the public nudity.

>>1097924
Lucky landing!
But you lost your naturally sourced clothing...
Damn.
Need to work on your grip strength with your nipples.
A few exercises a day, theyll be gripples in no time.
Youll be doing pullups in no time.
>>1097925
Hes right!
Pillows are shy and demure things, always come with their own coverings.
>>1097926
...
Yes.
The best part about this disguise is if anyone stares all you have to do is chant.
TOH
GAH
repeatedly and theyll think youre a cool college kid on the way to or from a party.

1/7 Derklord 2024/11/12(Tue)17:50 No. 1099684 ID: 3f89df
File 173146265853.png - (35.03KB , 250x250 , worm can not eat how they live is something histor.png )

>>1097925

But you...

>>1097926

Whew, someone gets it. As a Worm, you don't have teeth and not really a mouth, just a really long nose. Because you spend your evolution points on energy efficiency instead of looking and acting like an actual creature, you don't need to eat, drink, or even breathe. However, you need to sleep because your body needs a break sometimes; you also don't have claws, just soft pads that are great for hugging but not for tearing things apart.
>or find something sharp to cut it with, and viola!
You look around you in the back of the pillow truck while making sure not to accidentally moon the sky or any passers-by, and can't find anything sharp; maybe you would brake the back-seat window, but that's a last-ditch resort.

2/7 Derklord 2024/11/12(Tue)17:51 No. 1099685 ID: 3f89df
File 173146266147.png - (37.96KB , 250x250 , truck driver is long haul driver.png )

>>1097940
>Is anyone driving the truck?
You reposition yourself on the pillow throne, but ensure that only part of your snoot and googly eyes are in view to not blow your cover.
You can pass a glimpse of the driver up front, what looks to be a middle-aged Fruit Bat. Based on the circles on his eyes, he's been driving for around 14 hours straight or even longer without a bit of rest; he's got generic decorations scattered about to quickly tell you he's the hard-working country type who has a couple of vices but nothing more than that.

3/7 Derklord 2024/11/12(Tue)17:51 No. 1099686 ID: 3f89df
File 173146266499.png - (29.03KB , 250x250 , angry horny pillow hag challange rating three.png )

>Try your best to resist getting horny from the public nudity.
Wh-Your not Horny! Sure, you feel a little bit weird, and okay, maybe pretty weird all over, but you've got normal fetishes! You definitely don't have a fetish that you've to anthropomorphize and put on a silly lil comic on the internet, besides you won't tell the neurons in your brain that your horny, as they'll just have to find that out themselves, and yes your covering yourself just because....
*Horny Blushu Intensifies.*

4/7 Derklord 2024/11/12(Tue)17:51 No. 1099687 ID: 3f89df
File 173146269940.png - (38.06KB , 250x250 , wow that is just an bag really.png )

>Tie the biggest pillow case around you as a toga. Pillow cases are also useful as makeshift parachutes. If the truck goes by a cliff or high hill you can jump out and drift away.

You think that You'll break your bones if you jump off a vehicle going 50mph or even more without a plan. However, while the parachute idea dosen't seem reasonable, wearing a toga should help with the whole public indecency thing that you have going on here.

After a while of pulling and pawing the biggest pillow you see, you finally get a worm dark sized hole in it and decide to go for the moment of truth, and decide to put it on....

*It barely covers you* because unlike what your early ancestor's size would take into account, you are bigger then a simple pillow, you are one arm raise away, or one wind blowing through your Toga either downwards or upwards for everything to go incredibly wrong, also because your boobs aren't big enough, and because you didn't learn how to tie knots growing up, so much so that your first-grade teacher made fun of you for it. Because of that, you gotta hold the Toga up at all times; it's a dangerous predicament but better than going out in the flesh.

5/7 Derklord 2024/11/12(Tue)17:51 No. 1099688 ID: 3f89df
File 173146271027.png - (43.63KB , 250x250 , huh an pillow case whouldn_t be areodynamic and yo.png )

>>1097925
You think that jumping out of a vehicle moving 50mph and breaking all of your bones is not, in fact, a good idea. Also, you'd have to be naked when gliding, which wouldn't work (For obvious reasons). Therefore, you must do what all brave ENF worms would do.

Hide underneath the pillows; it's a perfect solution for a perfect being such as yourself. And so you hide underneath the snuggly snug of goodness.

6/7 Derklord 2024/11/12(Tue)17:52 No. 1099689 ID: 3f89df
File 173146272038.png - (37.75KB , 250x250 , welp guess one crazy pillow lady will show up on t.png )

Only an couple of seconds, and not dozing off later.......
Then suddenly, Boosh! sudden noises, Boosh! oh god it's that guy again, and Boosh AHHH RUNAWAY!

7/7 Derklord 2024/11/12(Tue)17:52 No. 1099690 ID: 3f89df
File 173146272407.png - (42.75KB , 250x250 , angy slightly more dressed derklord whait why you .png )

Oh, so you're in the wilderness now, which is cool, you guess. You don't really have a plan, but you're not naked, so that's great. If your neurons could help you find a way out of this situation, that'd be helpful.

>you didn't learn how to tie knots growing up, so much so that your first-grade teacher made fun of you for it.
Aw that's okay, I never learned knots either.

So the first thing to do when lost in the wilderness is... uh, check which side of the trees have moss? and that side would be, North?

Also the sun rises in the east if that helps

A couple of people did see you fall out, thankfully they didn't see anything lewd, but you might want to start running before they try to follow you and see where you ended up.

Here's the issue: stay on the trail, and some hiker might spot you in your embarrassing attire. Go off the trail, and you might damage your clothing from plant life, or be found by a wild animal.

But since we need to lose those two people, I say risk going off the trail to lose them for now.

>>1099690
Take a spare pillow with you.
Its not a towel, but its towel adjecant.
Now youre in the wilderness you can tell anyone who spots you that youre a hippy or a naturist.

Whatever you do, definitely don't get your pillowcase wet from streams, puddles, or dew. That thing's so thin it's already transparent, so a little bit of water will probably make it invisible. Glad that stuff doesn't come from the sky.

>>1099788
Indeed. It could be worse, could be raining

1/11 Derklord 2024/11/19(Tue)14:02 No. 1100050 ID: 3f89df
File 173205377706.png - (132.41KB , 1000x1000 , Oh no stuck in the wildrness with nothing butt the.png )

>>1099782

>Take a spare pillow with you. It's not a towel, but it's a towel adjacent.

In most circumstances, you would be happy to take another pillow just in case that evil ENF god does Evil ENF God Things! But well, it seems that you ran for about ten minutes into the bush, climbing over rocks and trees and sliding under conveniently spaced roots. You'd show such a masterpiece of animation, but the silly throwaway quest does not have the budget.

Sad :(

There's also the fact that going back to them might mean an Awkward Encounter . And you've got enough pent-up social anxiety as it is; imagine explaining how you got to the back of the pillow truck without them calling the cops on you.

Wait, did the porcupine lady and sleepy long-haul driver call the cops on you? OH NO, Is there a search team out for your arrest? No, no, that's silly. It's not like the quest is called-
.....
Dangit. Either way, you have to pretend that isn't the case, no matter what the ENF god would throw at you.

I mean, you may go on a tangent, but do you even deserve to be prosecuted by the ENF God? You are only on update five, but the updates are Beefy, and you've been updating your quests! well, maybe you gotta try harder on the art style, and it'll be over-
Oh wait, that'll make the quests take longer for each update.

Where are you? Oh, right, in the middle of the wilderness. The play is to get out of here before you lose everything again. Errrr... how do you do that again?

>>1099706 

>The sun rises in the east if that helps

Unfortunately, you are in what most lumberjacks call- Old growth wilderness, so these trees are fucking vast and old, and their leaves are bushy. So you can only see right above you at any given time; at least you can tell what time it is.

>So the first thing to do when lost in the wilderness is... uh, check which side of the trees has moss? And that side would be North?

Oh, that's a good idea! It takes a while, but you find some moss, and looking out over the canopy, you are confident in your assessment of that tree being north. In fact, you are so confident that you don't notice your hand touching the moss.

2/11 Derklord 2024/11/19(Tue)14:02 No. 1100051 ID: 3f89df
File 173205377975.png - (262.09KB , 1000x1000 , oh no now look what youve done internet you made t.png )

"Hey there hot stuff." You instinctively jump away from the noise source and try to look around for any creepers watching you in the distance. "Aye turn around for me, I had a good view of you-" You look back to the noise source. Is it the moss? "Your nipples are poking out sweet spot, you need some moss to cling onto you?" You feel like you need more sleep. Is Moss talking to you? Anyway, you freaked out.
Until you remember the moaning leaves, you guess that every single plant has decided to become sentient to ogle you.

3/11 Derklord 2024/11/19(Tue)14:03 No. 1100052 ID: 3f89df
File 173205378088.png - (151.04KB , 1000x1000 , did you know the first image was the view of the g.png )

-Wait, is the grass sentient? Is it having a constant upskirt shot of you? Feeling self-conscious about your specific, highly specific, and not true question, you bunch your legs together. Moments later, you hear sounds of disappointed groans animating from the ground.

4/11 Derklord 2024/11/19(Tue)14:03 No. 1100053 ID: 3f89df
File 173205378314.png - (155.58KB , 1000x1000 , gasp its the title of the quest roll credits.png )

Wait- where is the tree always this erect? Well, it's because it's morning. You must slap your hand to your face and get your mind out of the gutter! It's not like trees have dicks anyway; well, some do have fruit or flowers. Wait That'd be Sil-

Goshdarnit.

Almost on cue, the Oggling begins, "Well she's giving me morning wood if you know what I'm saying." "Oh, I'm about to peel!" "I'd suck and parasite off of that body." "Bumblebee's are nothing compared to that ass." "Show us more baby, show us your foilage!" "I know that the reader's going to have only male voices in thier head but I'm an gay tree!" "Me Too!" "Me Three!" "Hey guys ya want to move your roots so you can trip her over and see the good stuff?"

5/11 Derklord 2024/11/19(Tue)14:03 No. 1100054 ID: 3f89df
File 173205378574.png - (167.04KB , 1000x1000 , Millions upon millions worked at the pillow factor.png )

Maybe getting arrested by the police and shown on the news for your crimes would have been better.

>>1099706 
>But since we need to lose those two people, I say risk going off the trail to lose them for now.

You are most defintley off the beaten trail; you just dashed into the wilderness, and you can't see an even sliver of what might be a trail for miles. If someone's going to catch you, It's more luck than anything.

>Here's the issue: stay on the trail, and some hiker might spot you in embarrassing attire. Go off the trail, and you might damage your clothing from plant life or be found by a wild animal.

Well, the plants have indeed spotted you! Honestly, they're still making remarks. You're just attempting to drown their screeches. If you stay any longer, you think they're going to go live and activate somebody's fetish. As an anthropomorphic worm with relatively normal fetishes, you're not interested.

6/11 Derklord 2024/11/19(Tue)14:03 No. 1100056 ID: 3f89df
File 173205378970.png - (236.23KB , 1000x1000 , world war two vetran grandma witch is my fav chara.png )

Oooh, maybe you'd run into an old grandma hiking on a trail, not that you'd want to flash a grandma, but because historically, most grandmas have seen so much shit in their time that a crazy half-naked worm lady screaming how the trees are catcalling her won't make her bat an eye. She might invite you inside, give you some clothes, and make you tea and cookies. Honestly, you've been so stressed about this whole being naked and stuff inconveniently happening that you can't reach out and get increasingly horny/and or stressed. That a nice cup of tea and a Cookie would be nice right about now.

That's your new goal: Go North, try to find a hiking trail, and meet an old grandma. Get clothes, cookies, and a cup of tea, and make a plan on how to get home-

7/11 Derklord 2024/11/19(Tue)14:03 No. 1100057 ID: 3f89df
File 173205379373.png - (195.08KB , 1000x1000 , i wont say the lords name in vain but hell thats a.png )

-And maybe ask the old lady if she's secretly a witch on how to kill Faries for no reason at all.

With a heavy heart, you take a step forward and go off towards your goal. Hopefully, nothing bad and ENF will happen. Right?

8/11 Derklord 2024/11/19(Tue)14:03 No. 1100058 ID: 3f89df
File 173205379656.png - (240.96KB , 1000x1000 , i missed the old enf fairy before he took drugs an.png )

"Hey guys, it's ya boi, the ENF Fairy Again. Derklord here has been chatting up quite a storm, but don't listen to her. She still needs to be punished for not adhering to a schedule that she promised, and you know that if everything happened swimmingly, this would be a boring and tedious end quest, would it?

Well, Derklord is right about one thing. There is a trail up ahead in about, I don't know, 15 minutes. However, that's enough time to play a "prank" on her, and when I mean prank, I mean magical fey goodness!

9/11 Derklord 2024/11/19(Tue)14:03 No. 1100059 ID: 3f89df
File 173205380701.png - (215.37KB , 1000x1000 , imagination spongebob would say you could also tel.png )

You guys can suggest Anything to happen to lil old her, you know, minus some uncool and unradical stuff that the degenerates out there are thinking; I'm not saying you guys are; I was more so talking about the internet as a whole. And when I mean anything, I mean anything! The sky's the limit! Literally! You could put her in the sky! I mean, she could break her bones or die if you didn't have something for her to land on. Or something funny, a word taken literally from what she said, for example: Let's check the manuscript...

10/11 Derklord 2024/11/19(Tue)14:03 No. 1100060 ID: 3f89df
File 173205381487.png - (1.20MB , 1000x1000 , uhoh derkkkkkkk he might kill you first ohnoooo.png )

.........Wait.. oh god... she wants to kill me?

11/11 Derklord 2024/11/19(Tue)14:03 No. 1100061 ID: 3f89df
File 173205381967.png - (125.21KB , 1000x1000 , enf fairy has spent twenty five years in education.png )

That's totally uncool man! You know how I'm angry to suggest something that'd piss her off as well! And don't you be thinking about trying to kill me as well! We fairies are powerful, and I also graduated with a master's degree in Fairy education, fair dealing, and how to make someone Embarrassed and naked at any time in history. At Fey Fairy University! I take my job seriously, man, unlike some other fairies...

Ahem, that was unprofessional, dudes; she just pissed me off SO much, so whatcha going to do?

Hey Derklord, you should tell all the plantlife that they're naked, and you're actually more dressed than they are! That should shut them up and cause some ENP (embarrassed nude plants)

I want the clothes losing to be slow progressing in the span of multiple panels and/or updates, instead of losing it all at once in one panel, its more lewd that way

A few ideas, you don't have to use all or any of them, just pick the ones that feel is most fun: to start, it maybe at some point, it begins to rain just a little, causing the pillowsheet to become transparent once it's done raining.

a few small wild moths needs someplace to hide, and asks Derklord to hide in her dress (it doesn't care about her being underdressed cause they're wild moths, they're naked too after all)
In reality, the moths is just very very hungry, and will slowly eat away at the pillowsheet without Derklord knowing

There also needs to be risks on being seen. Maybe a couple of lumberjacks in the woods working (one beaver, one termite). Derklord needs to figure out a way to sneak past them without alerting them, while trying to make sure her pillowsheet doesn't somehow get damaged from bad luck.

maybe a fisherman Derklord has to figure out how to sneak by at a lake

I encourage other suggestors to come up with some fun ideas

Calm down fairy, we all have the same goal; To get Derk out of the woods (and back somewhere populated where its possible to be ENFed)

I mean who's gonna see her out here? Wolves? You think a bunch of wolves are just gonna come chase her up a tree so anyone below can see her legs? Yeah right.

Loose thread on pillow case, it starts to slowly unravel from the bottom. Eventually she can realize and break it off, but hopefully bottom half is exposed before then.