Actually, come to think of it, isn't Claire supposed to use the completed Vessel fragment to kill Liz? Maybe the sword is just a distraction in itself.

I mean, we know already that Kevros never had such a thing, and the magic needed to make such an item would've been beyond anyone's reach after our last adventure, I think. It's not like Liz had any skill in enchanting.

Also, Liz already said that basically this whole place is her. So, we don't even need to make sure we hit the "real Liz" with the Vessel's power. We have to destroy EVERYTHING in here.

Kaktus 2013/06/21(Fri)07:09 No. 518479 ID: b3ca75
File 137182377826.png - (52.63KB , 900x600 , 125.png )

>Liz isn't holding it, the phantom Hans is. Grab the sword back.
Claire has gained true seeing!
Give back my sword, Hans!
Your sword, darling? I was the one who created this fabulous tool out of Lizbeth’s dreams, ja?

>Maybe a bit of Drain Life or Drain Energy would help here.
Claire uses Life drain on Hans for 9 damage!
Hans loses his grip on the sword!
Claire loses her grip on the sword!
Sword was propelled through the air!
What are you doing, ja!? It can break very unfabulously if you manhandle it like that, darling.
Ops.
Don’t worry, I’ll catch it!

Kaktus 2013/06/21(Fri)07:09 No. 518480 ID: b3ca75
File 137182379502.png - (71.36KB , 900x600 , 126.png )

Lizbeth dream fragment gained true seeing!
Lizbeth dream fragment saw the truth!
Lizbeth dream fragment ceased to exist!

Ja… JA…. JAAA!! Just as planned!
[Hans receives vessel part 7!]
[Hans learns Illusion magic(Godlike), Time magic(Godlike), Golemancy(Godlike)!]
Hoho, soon the world will have a new fabulous god, ja? Oh, how the blood will rain, right darling? …Oh, right, I should probably do something about Liz, ja?

Hans uses golemancy on Claire to redirect the vessels power to himself!
Lizbeth’s illusions cease to function, not enough power!
Lizbeth has died of (very, very, VERY) old age!
[Hans has become omnipotent!]

And so, the fabulous era of Hans begins…
B-but how…
Oh, be quiet, construct, I’m busy trying to figure out who I will kill first, ja?

>No no let Hans do his thing.
…I think I kind of did…

Insert A new era of blood and guts_

Oh good lord Hans is now in control.

The Saint of Blood and Destruction is gonna kill us all!

Not like it'd be the first time...

This is where Hans creates a sea of blood to bathe in it.

... think you could get away with stabbing him with the sword I mean you still have 6 pieces of the vessel compared to his one so yeah, just figure out how to use them and you should have a pretty good shot at taking this guy. Just whatever you do don't let him go off panel, He become 10x more dangerous off panel.

All right. Enjoy omnipotence and immortality, Hans. Give us a call when even doing everything you ever wanted to do forever gets boring and you don't want to do anything anymore but die.

I mean hell even Liz got bored of it eventually, and she's a total perv with the attention span of a gnat.

So enjoy ruining blood for yourself forever.

Yeah, trust us Hans. Immortality SUCKS

Kaktus 2013/06/21(Fri)10:47 No. 518518 ID: b3ca75
File 137183687529.png - (7.90KB , 900x600 , 127.png )

>He become 10x more dangerous off panel.
Actually, darling, I took the fabulous feat Improved off screen awesome a few levels ago, so I’m 100x more dangerous off panel now, ja?
>Think you could get away with stabbing him with the sword.
Eat sword, you ba-
Hans dismisses the sword! The sword have ceased to exist!
Darling, did you really think something I created could hurt me, ja? If you ever wanted to hurt the fabulous skin of my body then you’ll need Kevros original weapon of truth, but I’ve already checked every sword, axe and club that he ever touched. I even checked all his body parts after I cut up his body a few thousand years ago. It’s long gone, ja? …wait, why am I telling you this fabulous information?
Because you’re the bad guy? You have to tell me your one weakness.
Oh, right… quite a bothersome rule, ja?

>Enjoy omnipotence and immortality, Hans. Give us a call when even doing everything you ever wanted to do forever gets boring and you don't want to do anything anymore but die.
Get bored? I laugh, Darling! I do believe everyone will be dead before I get bored, ja? The world will have drowned in the blood of my victims, the afterlife nothing more than a canvas of perfect oblivion, then… then I’ll create my magnus opus… by using my own corpse to destroy all matter in the entire universe! Simply fabulous, ja?
You’re insane!
I’m rich, so I’m just eccentric, darling.

>Liz
…That reminds me… You stopped me from cutting her up properly before I killed her, like I did with her husband. Hmm… oh, what a fabulous idea I had, darling. I’ll just bring her back in mortal form… and her husband too… oh… I know! On her wedding! …but she didn’t have any kids then… I’ll just add her kids in anyway, who cares if it’s fit or not, ja? She’s even fabulously pregnant! PERFECT!
Oh gods… you’re truly a monster!
Oh, I’m sorry… I kind of forgot about you, darling. Don’t worry, you can watch, ja? Oh! I know! I’ll even let you dress up nice and partake in the celebration before the massacre! How about this, darling, I’ll let you choose which dress you want to look fabulously in, ja? Or wait, even better! I’ll give you anything you want! Any dress, any jewelry, any dish, weapon or anything you can think off… as long as it’s not the sword of truth, ja?

>Immortality SUCKS
Hmfp… you talk too much, ja? …There, now you can only talk to that stupid bug construct, darling. Ah… beautiful silence… almost as beautiful as the oblivion to come...

Insert Sweet oblivion_

Claire, do you think you can just sort of ... reach out... and take that vessal piece.

You know I always wondered, What would happen if you kicked a god in the balls?

Also don't be afraid to go full lich on the guy, I mean one of you powers is to drain energy, and this guy basically became nothing but pure energy so if things get really bad you could try that, and since he likes blood so much you can use drain life on him as well.

Uh, tell Hans he can do whatever he wants, as long as he never summons the biggest fish.

>>518525

He's also a biomorphic mage, a powerful healer.

He's pretty much able to Revive Kills Zombie on her if he really wanted to.

Kaktus 2013/06/21(Fri)13:30 No. 518569 ID: b3ca75
File 137184665094.png - (13.73KB , 900x600 , 128.png )

>tell Hans he can do whatever he wants, as long as he never summons the biggest fish.
Can you summon the biggest fish?
It is done, ja?
…where is it… and what happened to the kaboom?
It’s is the fabulous size of the universe, of course you can’t see it, darling. As for the explosion, those other ignorant summoners have failed to think in the fourth dimension, ja? You simply need to warp the fish into itself to make it fit, right darling?

>You know I always wondered, What would happen if you kicked a god in the balls?
Claire tries vainly to stand up to the magnificence of Hans but his fabulousness is just too great, ja?
…what?
Hoho!

>Also don't be afraid to go full lich on the guy.
Hans start to grow tired of the darling Claire’s attempt to oppose him!
Do you not understand? Nothing can hurt me now when I’m a master illusionist, ja? Hoho! It’s seems your attack lacks “True” Strength, Darling!
…
Maybe you aren’t “True” to yourself, ja?
…
I know the “truth” is fabulously hard to face, but this is ridicules, hoho!

>Claire, do you think you can just sort of ... reach out... and take that vessal piece.
Maybe… now that he’s distracted with those bad puns…
What are you trying to do!? Bad, construct, BAD! Darling, didn’t your fabulous creator teach you some common courtesy, ja? Now I’ll have to punish you.

Hans summon the Bore worm Queen!

…hello Claire~
No! You can’t be… Y-you can’t b-be real!? I KILLED YOU!
Of course she’s not real, she never was. One of my finer creations, if you ask me, ja? Anyway, say that you’re sorry and I’ll not give you to her for fun. Oh, and you still haven’t chosen a dress for the wedding massacre. Hmmm… Maybe something Liz owns herself… Maybe her first daughter’s fabulous wedding dress? I like the irony, ja? …or maybe one of Kevros dresses?

Insert A (Insert color here) Wedding_

*Disbelieve in the Illusion*

And if that doesn't work, one of Kevros Dresses should do.

>>518569
SAY THAT YOU'RE SORRY!

Hans, this isn't fabulous. You're just cheating and hacking reality. Why don't you give us a fair fight?

Yeah, this isn't fabulous at all Hans. We at least need a lavish nightmare room in which to be devoured, with some heart thumping boss music in the background. Featureless black is so last year.

Oh right we can't talk to Hans anymore, sorry.

ask him how a lizardman's clothes can fit a mantis

...hmm. If he can't hear us, then we can conspire against him easily.

Claire, if none of those listed weapons are Kevros' "weapon of truth" then it's probably either a piece of his clothing, like his panties or something, his armor, or a sex toy.

I'm betting on the panties (since he wears them ALL THE TIME), so ask for his favorite outfit, underwear and all.

>if none of those listed weapons are Kevros' "weapon of truth" then it's probably either a piece of his clothing, like his panties or something, his armor, or a sex toy.
...it's the codpiece again, isn't it.

Kaktus 2013/06/23(Sun)07:43 No. 518947 ID: b3ca75
File 137199862765.png - (7.65KB , 900x600 , 129.png )

>it's the codpiece again, isn't it.
It can’t be. I’ve already got it in my inventory and it’s doing nothing at all.

I-I’m s-sorry! I’m sorry t-that I tried to t-take the v-vessel! JUST LET ME DOWN!
As soon as you decide what to wear to the wedding, darling.
J-just give me Kevros favorite outfit… U-underwear and all!
Very well, let me just use my fabulous time magic to pluck it from the time stream itself… and my magnificent illusion powers to change its size to fit you, darling. But… underwear? Do you rea- wait, you’re right, darling, this outfit is a bit… revealing, ja?
[Claire gained Kevros Legendary maid uniform of awesome destruction (and truth)!]
Claire gained true seeing!
Bore Worm illusion was disbelieved! Bore Worm ceases to exist!
-Off!
Oh, and Bore Worm? Release the construct so it can change its clothes, ja? It needs to look its most fabulous before the wedding so… um… I don’t really know what to do now, ja? In the script you should have already killed me, darling.
…Script?
Ja, the fabulous script! Pixel adventure 2: Revenge of Hans! I sent it to the author but he decided to improvise instead. Just see the train wreck he created, ja? Clearly my script is far more fabulous, right darling? I mean, in it we would have already had an epic duel to the death using your fabulous avocado powers on top of a burning t-rex riding a giant miniature space hamster with freaking laser beams attached to its head, ja?
My fabulous ava what now?
He didn’t even give you fabulous avocado powers, darling!? Oh, what should I do with this unfabulous junk of a script!?
…well… um… you should start with making a better last boss fight room. A completely black screen is kind of boring… and maybe some good music to? Something to make the adrenalin start pumping?
Hmmm… maybe I should strap your friend mutilated corpses to a dungeon wall… or is that to cliché? Maybe I should try one of those Amazing Technicolor Battlefields those fabulous “Last imagination” games usually use, ja? Hmmm…

…He seems completely distracted with the subject matter at hand and completely oblivious to what I’m doing…

Insert No items, fox only, final destination_

Huh..I guess it is truthful considering how he came out in it.

Regardless! Equip the Maid outfit to nullify his greatest techniques.

Damnit Hans.

>>518947
Wear the uniform so that he can't just snatch it away, then sneak up behind him and DEVOUR HIS SOUL. It's the only way to be sure he doesn't try this shit again.

Kaktus 2013/06/24(Mon)09:14 No. 519171 ID: b3ca75
File 137209047674.png - (7.44KB , 900x600 , 130.png )

>Equip the Maid outfit to nullify his greatest techniques.
Because I’ve nullified Hans illusions the outfit is in its normal Kevros size and form, thus unwearable by someone of my stature. Luckily I just need to hold it to gain its powers.

>sneak up behind him and DEVOUR HIS SOUL. It's the only way to be sure he doesn't try this shit again.
…it’s probably is… I just need to get it out of his mortal body first…

Hmm… to tell you the truth, darling, I’m not mu-
You want the truth!?

Claire starts strangling Hans with the Kevros Legendary spectacular sexy maid uniform of pure awesome destruction, truth and the paladin way!

You can’t handle the truth!
Ngt- why- gnt… Illusions- *Gasp* w-work!? Sto- *gurgle* -op!!!

Hans cast control Golem on Claire!
Hans can’t penetrate Claire’s mc free antivirus program!

*gack* S-tu-nhgt… lich… *gasp*!

Hans cast resurrection on Claire!
Unable to resurrect, Claire is an object!

H-how… unfabulous… ja?

Kaktus 2013/06/24(Mon)09:15 No. 519173 ID: b3ca75
File 137209052433.png - (7.68KB , 900x600 , 131.png )

Claire has successfully strangled Hans!
Hans has been slain!
And now…
Please… d-don’t… nooo!
Claire consumes Hans soul with energy drain!

…I feel...
[Claire’s necromantic power is beyond maximum! Claire will no longer consume necromantic power!]
…I feel…
[Unable to redirect vessel power to point: 532[Hans], redirecting to closes point. Redirecting to point: 0[Claire]!]
[Claire has become omnipotent!]
…I feel…
[Claire has lost her humanity completely for consuming a sentient soul!]
…Like a fool… I can finally see thing clearly… without those pesky morals blocking my view. It was those stupid paladins! They tricked me! They wanted these powers for themselves! They built me… and… gave me a horrible childhood so they could manipulate me. They need to die for this… painfully… all of them…

Insert A god just got strangled to death with a magical maid uniform fitted for a guy by a giant bug… wow, I never thought I’d write that when I started this whole quest thing_

Best way to thwart them? Give them there worst nightmare. Liz herself. In all her insane glory. Awake.

Claaairrre, don't be a bitch.

...wait, why did we consume his soul? Had Hans even done anything yet? I suppose he killed Liz, but.

>>519194
Claaairrre, don't be a lich.

And then the others finally smash the phylactery and everything is fine.

>>519210
Unless Claire uses her god powers to make something else her phylactery, or makes it invulnerable, or even just moves it to somewhere no mortal could reach. Plus if she died without someone able to take the vessel the world would be without a god which would also be bad.

Claire forget them they're all jerks. You've already won maybe take their power away so they can never do anything like this again and let them live with their failure. Your friends still care about you let's go back and find them.

>>519211
Humanity loss is pretty serious. She doesn't care about anyone else but herself now.

Kaktus 2013/06/24(Mon)13:02 No. 519221 ID: b3ca75
File 137210415894.png - (41.39KB , 900x600 , 132.png )

>...wait, why did we consume his soul? Had Hans even done anything yet?
He did admit that he created the bore worm and you know what that thing did to me. Besides, it was probably him that caused all those undead in the real world and all the blood in the dream one.
>Claaairrre, don't be a lich.
Why not? It’s feels amazing being like this! It’s like my mind has always been in a fog and it’s the first time I’ve been able to see clearly. Why would I care to be some lesser creature? Their only purpose is to revere me and do my unending will.
>Claaairrre, don't be a bitch.
…don’t make me consume you out of spite.

>Claire, forget about them they're all jerks. You’re a god now.
You’re right, they aren’t worth my time. There, now they are all dead, end of business.
>Your friends still care about you let's go back and find them.
Friends? Why would I care for those idiots? Those lesser creatures are not worth my attention. I’ll let them live for now, because they might bring some amusement in the future. Besides, I can just rip out their skeletons when I grow bored with them.
>And then the others finally smash the phylactery and everything is fine.
The only thing they are about to smash is my dream phylactery, which will just wake me up from Lizbeth’s dream… except Liz is dead and can’t dream… um… where are I exactly?

>Awake.
Ah… back to the real world… Ew, I got paladin stuck on my face.
B-blood e-every-
Shut up, nobody cares! Now, it’s time for… um… conquering the world? I don’t really feel like conquering the world though… so… I’m a god now… but what am I supposed to do exactly? …I’m starting to get bored…

Insert God without cause_

Establish a location of our own! We need a lair Mistress Claire.

If you're looking for a place to make yours a moon fortress is usually a good place to observe the world from.

>>519221
Without humanity you won't care about anything ever again. The logical thing to do is find out how to restore it. Ask the book.

If you don't agree with that, asking the book about it is one way to prevent others from restoring it, right?

>Hans deserved to have his soul consumed for what he did
>I'm an undead construct god who can do whatever she wants
Contradiction in your logic, construct.

If a god such as yourself has no moral obligation or burden, then you cannot hold hold Hans responsible for his actions.

And if Hans was responsible for his actions, then you are still responsible for yours.

Either you were wrong to act, or you are wrong to continue. Or both.

Well we just woke up so it could probably wait until after breakfast and by breakfast I mean donuts or something, your power is overcharged as hell and honestly when was the last time you had some real food, or for that matter dream food? Since we've been with you we have never really seen you eat anything other then raw chickens and fish.

So I say you first job as a god is to go to the kitchen and get some pancakes or something. We'll work on things from there.

It a good thing you forgot love because you don't deserve it any more. Your not above it. You have fallen beneath it.

Kaktus 2013/06/24(Mon)21:48 No. 519320 ID: b3ca75
File 137213570941.png - (28.20KB , 900x600 , 133.png )

>Either you were wrong to act, or you are wrong to continue.
…I’m a god. What I say is right is right, what I dislike is a sin that will make you burn in hell forever.
>It a good thing you forgot love because you don't deserve it any more. You’re not above it. You have fallen beneath it.
Peh! Love!? Simply hormones telling you to reproduce, nothing more. Completely pointless if you ask me. What have love ever given to me? Only some silly memories… my best memories… and some of the best claw massages I’ve ever had… I… No, Love is just distracting me from my true purpose! …Though I should get a slave to massage my claws…

>Establish a location of our own! We need a lair Mistress Claire.
Why not the school? It’s a castle already, right? Filled with slaves waiting to be claimed. Just needs some...
…
There… The black tower of Mistress Claire… hmm, though it feels a bit barren… and… I can’t actually think of anything to put in all the rooms… or on the walls…

>go to the kitchen and get some pancakes or something.
You’re right… though I don’t feel hungry at all… I don’t really feel anything…
Slave, go find me a new born baby. I want to feast on its succulent flesh.
O-o-of course, mistress!

>Without humanity you won't care about anything ever again. The logical thing to do is find out how to restore it. Ask the book.
…I… I don’t feel anything? Maybe I should ask the book… just for curiosities sake? Book! Answer me!
…
It’s quiet? Hmm, maybe I killed the one who talked from the other side when I killed the paladins. No matter, It was useless any- wait, what is this? Something’s written on the last page.
“Seven to dream, seven to wake her”
…But I already have all seven pieces, you stupid book. See, I got the painting, cod piece, necklace, the shelf, the book and myself… wait, that’s only six… where is the seventh part?

Insert perchance to dream_

>>519320
You must still be stuck in a dream. Your newfound godhood is false, and hopefully so is your lost humanity. Hmm. Well, even with false godhood we should still be able to find the last vessel part using those god-powers.

It sounds like you may be able to regain your humanity, even if you never truly lost it, by reminiscing on what you really care about. Renault. Waran. Dylon. Your parents, even though you disagreed with them.

Speaking of Renault, him and Thanra were crying in their sleep. I suggest going to wake them up. If they won't wake up, dreamwalk to check on them.

Or your bug-anity as such the case may be. No need for us to be all racist like that.

Claire stop being crazy.
Claire, stop.

The last piece could be with the others.

Kaktus 2013/06/25(Tue)08:46 No. 519387 ID: b3ca75
File 137217519336.png - (40.16KB , 900x600 , 134.png )

>Claire stop being crazy.
Sanity is for the weak!
>Or your bug-anity as such the case may be. No need for us to be all racist like that.
You do realize Mantis and humans are a different species and not races, right? It should be speciesist not racist. Besides, I’m a lich, not a bug or mantis. Why would I want to be associated with such an inferior being when I can associate with being the most glorious creatures that exist?

>You must still be stuck in a dream.
…Son of an Eaggran!!
>we should still be able to find the last vessel part using those god-powers.
Yes! Liz didn’t think of that, did she! Ha, already found it! I just need to…
Claire can’t disbelieve the illusion!
Claire doesn’t have enough humanity to disbelieve!
… … … … … …FUCK!
[Claire regained the emotion of frustration!]

>I suggest going to wake them up. If they won't wake up, dreamwalk to check on them.
HEY! WAKE UP, DIPSHIT!
ZzZz …asleep? …last hope? …Claire? ZzZz
ZzZz … need to… fortify… barricades… undead… overrun… ZzZz
Fine, let’s just dream walk then…
Invalid target! Renault and Thanra are not asleep!
Make sure your target is asleep before trying to dream walk!
…
[Claire regained the emotion of HATRED OF A THOUSANDS SUNS!]

>regain your humanity by reminiscing on what you really care about. Renault. Waran. Dylon. Your parents.
Why would I want to think about them? Renault is a stupid, naïve dolt. Waran is anti-social nerd. Dylon is a douche with an ego that is on the brink of creating a black hole thanks to its mass. As for my parents… they probably didn’t even exist! They were lies! Frauds! …they… didn’t…
[Claire regained the emotion of sadness!]
[Claire humanity have risen. Current: Like a rock!]

Insert I got a rock_

>>519387
Think about all the sex you had. That was good, right? Oh RIGHT I forgot all about the Happy Stone. That'll help too. Use it!

Where's the last vessel part?

They loved you, they cared for you. All of them did, from your parents to your friends and your lovers. Even if you hate them now, you cannot deny that they would have given themselves for you.

>As for my parents… they probably didn’t even exist!
Which makes them about as real as you are, really. You still remember that they cared for you, which is all that's important. Who cares if they were real to the rest of the world? They were real to you.

Kaktus 2013/06/25(Tue)10:09 No. 519396 ID: b3ca75
File 137218015861.png - (42.03KB , 900x600 , 135.png )

>Where's the last vessel part?
It’s right behind the illusion of… well, everything.
>Think about all the sex you had.
…Ew? Why would I think about that? I’m not one of those disgusting organicphiles… at least not any longer.
>They loved you, they cared for you.
Cared for me? Don’t make me laugh! They only used me for their own ends.
>you cannot deny that they would have given themselves for you.
…I…I mean… Of course they would! Who wouldn’t sacrifice themselves for their god!?
>You still remember that they cared for you, they were real to you.
…and… and… but…
…
…But they are gone now… and so are my friends… I… I’ve treated them like trash… and… I’m all alone now… aren’t I?
[Claire regained the emotion Depression!]
[Claire regained the emotion loneliness!]

>I forgot all about the Happy Stone. That'll help too. Use it!
[Claire regained the emotion Artificial happiness!]
AHAHAHA-Oh GODS- HAHAH! Ghnt… haha… hah… I… hah… gods… I… heh… starting to feel depressed again… and it’s worse now… heh…

Insert I’d buy that for a dollar_

Cannot just remember the bad times, how you met them all and the happiness and joy they brought to your life. From the time you met them at the academy, up to seeing Renault up in a maids outfit, and all that you shared with them all.

You can still save them, they are all still within your grasp, but if you do not feel for them, you will end up alone.

>>519396
Oh lame, the happy stone doesn't quite work this way. Uh. Hold Renault's hand. He used to comfort you when you were sad, remember? This is just a dream projection of him, but he is really out there. You're so close to finding him again. There's hope for the future, Claire.

Remember how you told Thanra that she could kill you if you went bad? How you saved her from her nightmares? Even though that was a dream in the dream, it was based on reality.

Remember that the Dean held onto his humanity at all costs, and taught you so much. You need to live up to his example.

Can you resurrect the paladins you killed in here? They may be able to help get your mind in order, too. Yes, I know they're SUPPOSEDLY to blame for you being a construct and making you believe you killed your parents who never existed, but remember this is still a dream. Nobody in the waking world has told you that you're a construct, and there's no real evidence that your parents were fake either. These paladins may be innocent. If not, well... sometimes the end does justify the means. The entire world was at stake.

One easy way they could help you is by casting Turn Undead so that you regain your Fear. You'd want to take off the Bolster Undead thing first, maybe.

The Dean regained his humanity. The Dean. Are you going to let that dolt one up you?

Kaktus 2013/06/25(Tue)12:00 No. 519406 ID: b3ca75
File 137218683465.png - (36.82KB , 900x600 , 136.png )

>The Dean regained his humanity. The Dean. Are you going to let that dolt one up you?
But the Dean was a very powerful lich and...
[Claire regained the emotion envy!]
Envy? Of that dolt!? Dream on, buddy!
[Claire regained the emotion denial!]
Denial? DENIAL!? I am a god! Why would I… Wait, I’m a god… I’m way more powerful than the dean would ever hope to be… getting my humanity back will be a breeze!
[Claire regained the emotion overconfidence!]

>seeing Renault up in a maids outfit
…
[Claire regained the emotion arousal!]
H-hey! Don’t b-broadcast t-that to everyone!
[Claire regained the emotion Embarrassment!]

>Uh. Hold Renault's hand. He used to comfort you when you were sad, remember?
…I…
…
...he was… is…
[Claire regained the emotion avocado!]
Ava what now!? That’s not even an emotion! What the hell!?

>Can you resurrect the paladins you killed in here?
…it is done.
So I said, your momma is so- wait, where did you go? …um… wait, who are yo- HOLY SHIT IT’S THE LICH! Um… I will smite thee with holy powers, thou of shadows? I think?

Insert I feel Avocado today_

>>519406
Tell him to knock it off and that you need his help restoring your humanity. Take off your protection versus it and have him cast Turn Undead on you. You're powerful enough at this point that you can limit its effect to give you just a taste of fear.

Let's see, after that... well, we still don't have Love unless Avocado is a weird dream-translation of it. That's a bit difficult though, and will probably be the very last emotion you recover.

There's regret- uh, you could try apologizing for killing the Paladin like that, or realizing that you're in this pickle right now because you ate Hans- it's kindof your fault (though okay it was mostly mine).
Compassion might be possible by going over to Thanra and thinking about what she must be going through right now.

What else is there? Pride's covered by overconfidence probably. Vanity? You are pretty hot, I mean you got three boyfriends in what, three days? I think you already have boredom. Ah. Confusion. Contemplate avocado, and how Hans said you were supposed to have avocado powers. What would avocado powers even do? Avocado avocado avocado.

Contemplate your Naval, it might help to see within oneself.

ask him what he knows of avocado being an emotion

Ok lets try remembering some things to see if those bring back your emotions
the night you and Thanra pulled a prank on the guys, the one involving the chick which Renault then attack causing more chickens to come and attack them

Remember what a chicken taste like, I mean you almost bit off Waran's claw trying to eat one of those things.

...The boreworm queen (hey bad emotions are still emotions) and then when you blow that bitch away

the threesome you had

the moment when you got to see your fathers again.

that's all I got right now so lets see if that did anything.

Contemplate avocado

Why do you even want to be a god anyways? It sure as hell didn't work out for the other people who had you powers. You killed two of them and the other got killed by a freaking codpiece. Having those powers will just get you killed.

Kaktus 2013/06/26(Wed)07:50 No. 519583 ID: b3ca75
File 137225823286.png - (34.83KB , 900x600 , 137.png )

>Why do you even want to be a god anyways? Having those powers will just get you killed.
I didn’t really choose, you know. It was a “you killed it; you bought it” kind of deal.
>Take off your protection versus it and have him cast Turn Undead on you.
Knock it off, paladin, and help me regain my humanity. That’s what you tin cans are supposed to do, right?
Um… Are you trying to trick me…? Maybe I should get one of the higher ups, I’m just a disciple and-
Just cast turn undead on me already. Don’t worry, I’m powerful enough to just shrug it off like it was nothing.
If you say so… Coma faveo me… Turn!

[Claire regained the emotion Fear!]
[Claire regained the emotion Humility!]
[Claire regained the emotion Disgust!]

…are you okay? You did scream quite loud and-
Y-yes, I’m f-fine! J-just… err… checking f-for… s-stuff under the b-bed…
…And I need a new pair of clean underwear…

>Contemplate your Naval.
I would I contemplate a ship? I don’t own a ship. Or do you mean navel? Which, for your information, I don’t have either.
>Contemplate avocado. What would avocado powers do? Avocado avocado avocado.
…maybe it gives me to power over tacos? Or… um… tacos? Tacos tacos tacos…
[Claire regained the emotion Confusion!]

>Remember what a chicken taste like.
…mmm… chicken…
[Claire regained the emotion Beware! I Hunger! Run Coward, Run! RAAWWRRR!]
>The boreworm queen.
…I already got fear… and I already need a new set of underwear…
>and then when you blow that bitch away.
[Claire regained the emotion Happiness!]
>You are pretty hot, I mean you got three boyfriends and had a threesome.
[Claire regained the emotion Pride!]
>the moment when you got to see your fathers again.
[Claire regained the emotion Nostalgia!]

[Claire regained her humanity! Current humanity: Extremely low!]
…oh gods… I… I didn’t mean the things I said… or thought… not the things about my friends… I… I’m sorry…
[Claire regained the emotion Regret!]

Insert Sin is a star_

Bedbug!

>…oh gods… I… I didn’t mean the things I said… or thought… not the things about my friends… I… I’m sorry…
Not your fault, really. You literally didn't have the capacity to do otherwise. But you're back, and you didn't have a chance to do any permanent damage, I think.

Transparent Dylon in front of the lizard-bed.

We still need to get that vassal!

Also yes, there's a transparent dylon (or folken) at the foot of the bed.

>>519583
It's okay Claire, we know.

Time to show the illusions who's boss.

ok we got humanity back now we just have to up it a little and then disbelieve this illusion, also see what Dylon wants.

Kaktus 2013/06/26(Wed)13:26 No. 519613 ID: b3ca75
File 137227841443.png - (35.91KB , 900x600 , 138.png )

>Not your fault, really.
I’m still sorry, okay?
>Time to show the illusions who's boss.
Yes, let’s make this dream my bi- …oh wait, I know why I got these god powers now. Apparently my dream walk powers that’s responsible and not the vessel. Neat, I guess. Anyway, Let’s grab that last piece! …which would be a cake walk if Folken wasn’t in the way. Literally. I can see the vessel piece inside him.

>see what Dylon wants.
I would recognize Dylons cute abdomen anywhere and that isn’t it. That’s quite clearly Folken.

Hello, Folken… I see that you’re not part of the dream or the illusion.
Claire, sweetie, of course I’m real. I’m here to stop you from annoy my master. Oh, and kill you, of course!
Your master? You mean Liz!?
Liz? That’s simply a lie from your kind to claim supremacy and you know it. This god is a man and his name is Hans!
…Oh, right, you’re all sexist and stuff.
Sexist? I’m simple trying to save a dying race from your vile clutches! If the man would have any hope to survive all of your kind needs to die!
…that doesn’t even make sense! You need a man and a woman to continue the species!
Feminist lies!
You’re nuts!
On the contrary, I’m the only one that’s sane. My master whispered that into my ear, therefore it must be true! Why, when I found him in the cold north after that debacle with the noble girl I knew I’ve found a new golden age! When he started to whisper his wisdom I knew… I knew I’d found my one true master… and love…
As fun as listening on your batshit crazy ramblings are, can I kill you now?
Of course not! This is a dream battle, there are rules to follow! I think you know what to do, don’t you? Let me make the first move… I am Folken, Undead master, destroyer of the women supremacy!
Oh, for fuck sake, The oldest game!? Isn’t this shit cliché enough!? But fine… I’ll kick your ass anyway.

Insert I am Hope_

The oldest game, again? Fine, we'll do the same trick we did before.

I am your dread master, all powerful, controlling.

Now either tell me what kills your master or concede already.

... ok then

I am the paladin, undead slaying, bringer of peace for all.

>>519618
Yep.

>>519618
that works

Mantis ball kick technique!

>>519613
Can't you just... explode him?

Kaktus 2013/06/26(Wed)21:31 No. 519721 ID: b3ca75
File 137230751086.png - (35.27KB , 900x600 , 139.png )

>Can't you just... explode him?
Mantis ball kick technique!
Unable to affect Folken! Can only affect things in the dream!
…you do know I’m wearing a full plate armor, right? Even if you should have affected me with that the only thing you’d accomplish would be a broken foot.
…

I am your dread master, all powerful, controlling.
I am Claire, God killing, unknown undead minion.
…oh, you son of a-
Do I hear a forfeit?
…I am the paladin, undead slaying, bringer of peace for all.
I am corruption, war bringer, order destroyer.
But, paladins are immune against corruption!
Oh? Then ask your paladin friends how they created you and what happen to that poor noble girl that ran away. You’ll see their corruption soon enough. Now, play or die!

Insert I am insert, joke spewing, not really witty_

I am eternity, in whose eyes no event carries significance.

>>519721
The paladins in this dream are just that. In a dream, and prone to the influence of the dreamer, who is either crazy Liz or crazy Hans. We can't ask them right now- you would get the answer Folken wants you to hear, not necessarily the truth.

How about Victory, evil redeeming, disaster averting.

we'll ask them later

I am the inquisition, choas ending ,never suspected

I am renewal, replacing anew that was once lost, making corruption irrelevant.

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)07:25 No. 519767 ID: b3ca75
File 137234315614.png - (36.03KB , 900x600 , 140.png )

I am Victory, evil redeeming, disaster averting.
I am a traitor, failure creating, always suspecting.
I am the inquisition, traitor ending ,never suspected.
I am the maker, hammer wielding, religious order controlling.
I am eternity, in whose eyes no event carries significance.
I am the end, the finite, the absolute.
I am renewal, replacing anew that was once lost, an never ending cycle.
I am Folken, Cycle breaking, ender of pain.
…I am a blade, Folken killing, oldest game ender.
Hah, you just lost. A blade is no match for-

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)07:26 No. 519768 ID: b3ca75
File 137234316912.png - (36.78KB , 900x600 , 141.png )

Claire decapitates Folken for Infinite(oldest game) damage!
Folken has been slain!

The dream seem to disagree with you on that.
…
…
…and there it is… the last part of the vessel… for real this time.
…
I don’t know what will happen if I take it. Will I really become some sort of god? Will Liz die? Am I just playing into the hands of some bad guy?
What should I do? Take it? Leave it? Hide it? …destroy it?

Insert I am Kaktus, humorless, unable to write a story_

Our friends suffer, we need to continue on. Take the Vessel.

Take it... and wake up. Thats it.

Actually, Claire didn't even cheat. Folken lost, fair and square. The oldest game continues until someone cannot answer, or repeats. He used his name twice, he loses.

well our friends are still in danger so we kinda have to move forward.

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)08:28 No. 519775 ID: b3ca75
File 137234688273.png - (33.90KB , 900x600 , 142.png )

>Our friends suffer, we need to continue on. Take the Vessel.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

[Claire receives the last piece of the vessel! Claire creates Virtue!]
[Lizbeth can no longer sustain her illusion!]
Lizbeth has died of old age!
The dream has ended!

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)08:28 No. 519776 ID: b3ca75
File 137234690793.png - (407.71KB , 1000x550 , MephistophelesWithoutJohnDefoe.png )

>wake up.
Space: the final frontier.
These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldly go where no man has gone before.

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)08:28 No. 519777 ID: b3ca75
File 137234692448.png - (388.23KB , 700x526 , RikerGetAllTheBitches.png )

Star date… um… I think it’s the twenty seventh. Anyhow, Max still haven’t called. I know that he’s the master of magnetism but come on; it’s been like four hours! …maybe I should call him ag-
My beard powers tells me that you’re using the ships logs like a personal diary again.
Does your beard tell you where I’ll shove it if this isn’t important, Riker?
Professor Xa- I mean Captain Picard, my beard has picked up a emergency signal from a nearby planet! The planet [Insert name here] with [Insert feature here] is [Insert emergency here]!
… Insert the what? What’s the meaning of this?
The beard have requested that the readers at home will choose!
…what the fu-
THE BEARD HAS SPOKEN, ALL HAIL THE BEARD!

Insert I’m Bert the beard_

wat

The planet beard, with all its fabulous facial hair is under attack by clones of Edward scissor hands

Claire? Punch Kaktus.

*Puts nerd glasses on*. Okay that >>519776 is clearly the Enterprise-A, but that >>519777 is clearly the bridge and crew of the Enterprise-D.

Helmsman, set a course for planet [insert name here] at warp 6. Beacause we never use warp 9 if we can help it. You'd think there were speed limits or traffic cops in space, or something. Engage.

Number one, contact starfleet. Advise them that we will be responding to [Emergency].

I'll be in my ready room.

The planet Shakespeare with its population of eccentric stage actors who need their bald headed messiah to return so that they can complete every single play featuring the house of Plantagenet!

wh-wha ... i mean... it's funny say the least.
where's Q, we need more Q

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)10:52 No. 519796 ID: b3ca75
File 137235555251.png - (476.78KB , 694x530 , WhoIsAwesomeYouAreAwesome.png )

>Okay that is clearly the Enterprise-A, but the crew is clearly of the Enterprise-D.
Shh, We don’t want Kirk to know we “borrowed” his ship for a joy ride.

>Engage!
It’s my home planet, isn’t it?
THE MIGHTY BEARD CONFIRMS WHAT ITS ADVISOR MUSTACHE HAS SAID, IT IS THE PLANET “SHAKESPEARE”!
Then I must return home to my people, the eccentric actors. What is the emergency?
The evil company N.B.C have captured the planet with force and is forcing them into producing a heinous show called STAR TREK! And that’s terrible! Also, BEARD!!!
Those fiends! Engage warp 6 immediately!
Um… actually this is school zone. The speed limit is only warp 3. The beards say he can’t get caught speeding again or he’ll lose his license!
Whatever, just go alre-

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)10:52 No. 519798 ID: b3ca75
File 137235557436.png - (433.52KB , 694x530 , T_H_E_MPerformsAtEveryBirthDay.png )

>where's Q, we need more Q
NOOO! DON’T MENTION HIS NAME!
Au contraite, mon capitan! HEEEEEE'SSSSS BAAAAAAAAAAACK!
…fuck.
Did you really think that prison world filled with colorful equine would keep me? I feel insulted! But I’ll forgive you, that’s what friends do, right captain?
Ha! The beard is already covered in the bitches. Your fantasy women will not distract the mighty beard this time!
…you know, you’ve become so drool after you got that beard, let me fix that…

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)10:53 No. 519800 ID: b3ca75
File 137235559111.png - (728.52KB , 703x1049 , JumpingTheShark.png )

…No beard?
No beard!
…you will burn!!! RAAAWRRR!!!!
…Sigh… How am I supposed to save my home planet while Disc- I mean Q and The bea- Riker is fighting on the bridge!? I need to act fast!

Insert The ROCK thinks talking in third person is unrealistic_

Summon the biggest fish?

>>519807
no, summon the biggest BEARD!

Get rid of them. Have Riker challenger Q to some absurd contest to win back his beard. Then Q will whisk him away to some made up fantasy land and you'll be done with both of them, for a little while.

>>519800
Quick, reverse the polarity on your quantum shaver!

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)12:41 No. 519833 ID: b3ca75
File 137236209899.png - (299.33KB , 729x557 , WhyHelloThereSexy.png )

>Quick, reverse the polarity on your quantum shaver!
You dare remove the beards beard? I’ll show you a beard that you can’t even dream of debearding! Picard, reverse the polarity on the quantum shaver!
This is madness!
BEHOLD! TWO BEARDS OF THE AGES! TWICE THE BEARD THAT ANY MAN CAN HANDLE!
Meh, I’ve seen better.
What!? Then the beard must make it bigger!
>Summon reverse shave the biggest BEARD!
Yeeeessssss…
No! I forbid you from shaving like that!
Ah, man…
Doesn’t matter anyway. The author of this quest is about to be punched unconscious by his own creation, thus dooming us all!
…what?

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)12:41 No. 519834 ID: b3ca75
File 137236211071.png - (394.15KB , 547x522 , RightInTheKisser.png )

>Claire? Punch Kaktus.
Claire slaps Kaktus for 1 damage!
Kaktus has been slain!
The quest goes boom!
Yaaay!

Kaktus 2013/06/27(Thu)12:42 No. 519835 ID: b3ca75
File 137236212467.png - (175.00KB , 500x346 , AlienQuote.png )

Game over! Thank you for playing QuestQuest! You’ve been a real hoot!

Restore <--
Restart
Quit

A star trek parody without mentioning Worf or Data? What is this shit!?
Garbage day!