(10/10) Apples 2023/12/27(Wed)22:31 No. 141470 ID: 435f13
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Happy Holidays, Kaia and Zarin!

1/3 Cross 2023/12/30(Sat)03:32 No. 141482 ID: 78048b
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Oh ho ho! It's holiday season once again!

But for two soldiers on leave, things aren't so smooth sailing off the cuff.
In a distant ski lodge, the air is abuzz with gift-giving and merriment.
But for one individual... Ozone feels herself sinking into the couch, further and further. So much for holiday relaxation.

"You seem tense", observes the airy servicewoman, a mug of hot cocoa in her hands. "I've yet to think of a decent gift idea myself."

She clenches her fists.
"They're kids, Mnemo. They're living in some kinda messed up city where they're not even allowed to have things. I'm gonna make this one hell of a gift for those two."
Children. Back in their own world, there had only ever been one in particular that anyone could have known. Yet, the idea of youth spent on someone else's whims frustrated the woman to no end.

"In a way, we're much the same, are we not? We didn't even have childhoods, but we've been training to fight for our whole lives."
Ozone shakes her head.
"There's a difference, when we came outta the tubes, we were already adults. Kids shouldn't be working, they should be playing!"
The red soldier shrugs.
"While we can't change their circumstances, do you have any plans for the gift?"

Options flitted through her mind. Toys? Books? Maybe tools?
"Something practical. Something they can actually benefit from. Anything too flashy and it'll get confiscated."

Mnemosyne takes a sip.
"Snacks are an option."
When neither of them were bakers or confectionists?
"Not enough lasting impact. Do you really want to give them something that they'll only experience once in their lives?"
A poorly chosen gift may as well be an unusual form of torture.
"Then something to protect them in our stead."
A brief moment of silence.
Ozone perks up.
"I think I've got an idea."

2/3 Cross 2023/12/30(Sat)03:33 No. 141483 ID: 78048b
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A quick jaunt back to Site 70 to regroup and reassess.
In a dim room, a doctor nurses a headache and multiple taxation forms.
"Nanoweaver."

Two intruders aggravate her existing headache.
She doesn't even bother to turn to look at the others.
"What? What is it, I've got a lot of things to be worrying about now."
The doctor hasn't quite been the same since this years' summer hullabaloo. Rumors abound of crimes committed on foreign shores. It was a misunderstanding, she swears!
For now, she evades the gaze of the multidimensional lawkeepers.

"We're making gifts for two kids this year, doc. Got any resources to spare? I don't think heavy machinery or power tools is gonna fly with 'em."

Ozone prods at the doctor.
"Cmon... It's for a good cause and the smiles of two kids!"

Bah humbug.
"Ask again in a few hours."


This time, it's Mnemosyne chiming in.
"It is a simple materials request. And a bit of a glance or two after we draft the blueprints for a brief project. If you were to stand trial later, your goodwill would reflect positively on your character testimony from both of us."
The geneticist sighs.

"I... yeah, I've got some things left over from my activities this summer. You'd be doing me a favor by getting rid of it."
In the corner of the room, a supply box glitters.
"But you'll have to design it yourselves. I've got a lot of spare meat to deal with before the ITO (Interdimensional Taxation Office) catches up with me."

And thus, materials had been procured. Now it was the simple act of fashioning it into something useful.

3/3 Cross 2023/12/30(Sat)03:33 No. 141484 ID: 78048b
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Plans are made deep into the night.
Ozone emphasises a sense of minimalism.
Mnemosyne advocated for a comforting grasp.

And the good Doctor lent her expertise to putting it together.

After a brief period of engineering... it's complete.
Perhaps it was a blessed coincidence that their colours happened to be particularly festive.

A pair of scarves, engineered with materials and technology from beyond this world.
Thermo-reactive fibers that tighten or loosen based off of temperature, making it appropriate for any weather or circumstances.
Practically indestructible.
Covert, but charming.

Even if few people are there for the two, they'll have each other.

Kaktus 2024/01/01(Mon)15:57 No. 141493 ID: 681cb5
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>>141437
Chris: “Note that an important items from the original body’s past may stun the creature for a second or two…” the rabbit reads out loud from the book, “Which is when you blast it away with a shotgun.”
Belle: “Mmm, these cookies came out great…” Belle takes a bite out of the gingerbread eldritch squid god, “And these cookie molds are adorable!”
Chris: “Oh? To break a seal made in an image of creature beyond our world, simply chant its true name out loud? Really?”
Belle: “The tea though, it’s a bit bitter…” the fox takes another sip, “But really relaxing…”
Chris: “Ha! Listen to this!” Chris cheerfully exclaims, “The rituals contacting a higher being is so exact, that even the smallest stain from either oil or fat may have devastating ramifications!”
Belle: “You’d think an eldritch god wouldn’t really care about a bit of oil.” She swallows loudly before continuing, “Nah, that book is clearly just being silly.”
Chris: “Still, it’s a fun read.”
Belle: “Mmm, you’re right about that…”


Belle: “Thank you, Anthony, for your wonderful gift!”
Chris: “How did you even know we both love eldritch horror?”
Belle: “Though you might have confused us with someone else. While we are looking for a bigger home, we’ve yet moved anywhere.”
Chris: “I’ve heard rumors that some far off relative of mine died earlier this year who had a nice house. An Edward I believe? Though with my luck, Cousin Karl back in the old country will get to inherit it.”
Belle: “Though first we need to make you a proper Mr. Knott, Sunflower.”
Chris: “Well, we just need to wait until April for that, Bluebell.”
Belle: “But thank you so much for the gifts and merry Hissmass!”
Chris: “And a happy new year! I’m sure 98 is going to be a great year!”

(0/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:21 No. 141495 ID: 809e5e
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Hoodwinked, flummoxed, japed: your apparent rival in the contest of bountiful bosoms has tricked you with a cursed amulet and a burdensome bust! Fortunately, the Bramble Grimoire has just the sort of incantations, rites and hexes by which you can remedy your predicament and serve comeuppance to this top-heavy holiday hoodlum. Just turn to page... Oh. Oh dear. This may be a problem.

Fortunately for you (and your yuletide assignment) you'd preemptively handled your own gift-gathering prior to your arrival -- a tale which goes something like this...

(1/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:37 No. 141498 ID: 809e5e
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https://youtu.be/Pt9XEDTNTsk

It is NINETEEN NINETY NINE, and now is a time of dire productivity and capitalism; the CEO, BRAD BUCKMEISTER, has taken a loss on the stock market at the apex of his fiscal quarter -- leaving projected revenue in tatters. Destined to dwell in the shadow of holiday sales quotas, servants of wages toil tirelessly to meet the bottom line.

(2/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:38 No. 141499 ID: 809e5e
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You are CRYSTAL CRUMPOWSKY, a bored and office-dwelling programmer and pup working late into the evening as $HOLIDAY approaches. You technically have a view from your workspace over the smog-choked skyline of a forest of cyclopean skyscrapers, but most of what you see from the day to day is a broad sea of cubicles occupied by gormless, work-worn coworkers.

(3/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:38 No. 141500 ID: 809e5e
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You are in the midst of working on the latest title in QUEST TECH's catalogue of interactive adventure games -- a fantasy epic starring a rabbit woman with very large breasts and a dubious NSFW rating which limits its target audience who might otherwise enjoy the perilous saga that unfolds. As you contemplate the prospect of a hellish office culture future in which employees are 'linked in' an inescapable miasma of social networking, a bulky parcel is delivered to your cubicle by a COURIER.

(4/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:39 No. 141501 ID: 809e5e
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Eager for any distraction from the doldrums of a rabbit tittering and teetering through hijinks, you open the package and within discover an impressive piece of technology: a CELLULAR PHONE. Promptly, it begins ringing in a irritating fashion, so you fumble with the soft mushy plastic buttons until managing to answer the call. "Crystal Crumpsy, we don't have much time." A mysterious voice informs you from the other end. "We need to get you out of there so that we can participate in a Clandestine Santa operation before THEY get you."

You're rather confused by all this, so you try tilting your head at a forty-five degree angle to see if it makes more sense. This barely improves your clarity. "If you don't hurry, SUGGESTORS will make your decisions for you. You need to get up from your cubicle and FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT." They hang up. With a shrug, you rise and follow the WHITE RABBIT emergency exit plan on the wall, trundling down thirty-seven flights of stairs.

(5/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:39 No. 141502 ID: 809e5e
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After a scene transition, you see a LEATHER-WEARING RABBIT WITH COOL SUNGLASSES. "Hallo C.C." She greets you. "There are two peels, a RED and a BLOO, and yew have to peek to decide if yew will stay here or go on with thee thread." You think she sounds a little like Björk. Amazingly, two pills materialize and float in mid-air like something out of one of your VIDEO GAMES you work on all the time.

(6/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:40 No. 141503 ID: 809e5e
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You have no idea what she means by a RED and BLUE pill however. Both look vaguely the same to you, so you are uncertain which to pick. "Yew have to hurry, we are on a tight sked jool." She says to you, exasperated.

(7/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:41 No. 141505 ID: 809e5e
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Seeing your Bored Neutral Expression as you stare at the pills, the WHITE RABBIT helps you pick the correct pill by cleverly wrapping it in some DELICIOUS HOLIDAY HAM. Promptly, you eat the pill. EXCITING TECHNO CLUB MUSIC begins to play wildly.

https://youtu.be/OwGuSPXPyX4

(8/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:41 No. 141506 ID: 809e5e
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You participate in an incredibly exciting action sequence with a variety of guns and hand to hand fighting which, regrettably, we lack the budget to portray. It does culminate in being able to fulminate your cubicle farm, however -- an EXPLOSION rocking the downtown area as you make a daring escape. Afterwards, you are REMOVED FROM THE THREAD by a crew of colorful characters who explain the plot of THE MATRIX to you.

(9/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:42 No. 141507 ID: 809e5e
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Together, you traverse another thread in a HIGH TECH VEHICLE while being pursued by TERRIBLE SQUID ROBOTS intent on preventing you from doing your holiday shopping. Despite their best efforts to waylay you, you and your new friends are able to acquire and craft a variety of gifts to be delivered less than a week after $HOLIDAY!

(10/10) RWW 2024/01/02(Tue)11:42 No. 141508 ID: 809e5e
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You are ZERO, and you have received a $HOLIDAY gift box! It is poorly wrapped and misshapen, but the gift-givers seem to have meant well at least and appear to have been through a lot to get here. Inside the lumpy box, you find a variety of objects as your PRESENTS.

First, is a KUNG FU cartridge for an old VIDEO GAME console. Inside THE MATRIX, C.C. was able to learn a wide variety martial arts with this cartridge, so your gift-givers hope that you may also be able to download remarkable fighting prowess similarly.

Second, is a $50 GIFT CARD to SPENCER GIFTS. a quirky retailer specializing in a variety of strange relics, artifacts, magic items and dubiously adult-themed party favors and games. A GIFT CARD is an excellent way to err on the tastes of your gift recipient and in no way implies reckless haste in providing a present.

Third, are a pair of festive 'ear' warmers which are, remarkably, appropriately sized to adorn yourself with. As these are not a retail-available article, it becomes clear that KAIA and ZARIN actually knit them together. Perplexingly, this presents a paradox when compared to the GIFT CARD, for gift-giving preparedness.

Finally, the entirety of the bottom of the gift box is filled with a collection of EXQUISITE BRANCHES pup-picked by C.C. herself with a high degree of confidence that you will find them to be both tasteful home decor and useful equipment for any manner of predicament or situation.

Happy Holidays, Zero!

Gail and Tina 2024/01/04(Thu)00:37 No. 141510 ID: a7a180
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Tineola: “What a nice lodge they’ve rented this year!”
Gail: “Oh, very! The fireplace keeps it nice and toasty, which is good because I’m pretty lukewarm-blooded myself.”
“I can barely keep myself from staring at it… but then my eye keeps getting drawn to that dragon lady made of plush fabric instead. She looks so soft and huggable!”
“I bet those two interests would go well together. So, what are you making?”
“Oh, I’m still working on my secret santa gift. …You know, it occurs to me, we’re scarcely present in our respective quests! We should have prepared some sort of introduction for ourselves so our partners would know what we like.”
“Oh, ssshoot… That would have been a good idea, wouldn’t it? Well, I’m a student in college studying archaeology. I grew up on our planet’s moon before I moved planetside for college, and I like all the arcology kid classics: books, astronomy, plastic models... Not that I’d ask for those, they can get quite expensive! What about you, Tineola?”
“I guess we both have our guilty pleasures… Oh, I’m a traveling tailor and part time adventurer, both of which go into feeding my bad habit of nibbling exotic fabrics. I’d prefer anything but clothes, please - I’d feel terrible after chewing holes in a gift. (Well, unless it was meant to be chewed on… thanks again, Eudora!)”
“Interesting. Well, I’ve got to go - I see someone waving at me over by the couch, I think my gift’s already here! Good luck, Tina!”

Sarcopholacooda 2024/01/04(Thu)19:58 No. 141511 ID: 11f77a
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Ortessus: Nacha Cone-Joe? Sounds like a notor-xingastian space trucker. But I’ve done my research and meticulously worked on my secret gift throughout the better half of the season.

Ortessus: Call it a hobby of mine--but I offer a most tempting gift.

Ortessus: You have a button.

Ortessus: You may choose to press the button at your leisure. You can only press it once--for it is one-use only. Multiple presses in succession grant nothing greater.

Ortessus: But prepare for the consequences that follow--for it would be fabricated by your hand, and mine will remain clean. I only supply the tools as a clerk would innocently sell a hammer.

Ortessus: It’s up to you now. I’ll be a comfortable distance away and enjoy my time on the balcony sipping a nice cold mug of root beer.

1/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)21:49 No. 141513 ID: f6204d
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Dansha: “Me.. Mne-mo-syn…. And O-zone. Yeah, those names are definitely out there.”

Peachy: “Keep reading!”

Dansha: “Right. Uuhh.. Mne-mo-syn is… a soldier created artificially to fight a grand war, now concluded. She was created out of the essence and memories of ancient heroes… What?”

Dansha: “Uhhm, she is highly professional and reserved, but loves sports when not on duty. She also has…. Wind powers? Says here she can control wind currents to create big gusts of wind that she uses to throw off her enemies and… *snrk* make her weapons float in the air and shoot without having to hold them. Pfft! And she likes both ranged and melee combat.”

Peachy: “What’s melee again?”

Spots: “The opposite of ranged.”

Dansha: “Mano a mano, yeah.”

Peachy: “Uuuh...Hey, what about Oz-on?”

Dansha: “O-zone is… also a soldier made for the war. Uhm.. from different heroes than Mne-mo-syn. She’s also pretty professional, as well as abrasive, but she likes her fellow superior officers and is good friends with them.”

Spots: “Sounds kind of like the sticklers here.”
Dansha: “Mmhm. Anyway, she prefers subterfuge and uses lots of traps and contraptions and… ‘big guns’, whatever that might be…. Oh! Says here, it’s weapons that shoot metal pellets with gunpowder!”

Peachy: “Oh, yeah! Gunpowder!”

Spots: “For clearing tunnels, right?”

Dansha: “For clearing tunnels, yeah…. O-zone also uses other guns, of different kinds. From ones that spew poison gas to.. flamethrowers?!”

Peachy: “No way!”

Spots: “That sounds awesome! You sure we can’t just invite her over?”

2/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)21:52 No. 141514 ID: f6204d
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Dansha: “Okay, seriously; just who came up with this stuff? And who made these portraits? Did Prielos put you up to this?”

Peachy: “Nah, your neighbor doesn’t draw that good.”

Spots: “He is not dumb enough to cross someone who lives next door to him again, either.”

Dansha: “Then who made this?!”

Peachy: “I told you, it was given to me in the magic mushroom cave!”

Dansha: “You mean the one with the fluorescent toadstools? In those dingy tunnels you always visit?”

Peachy: “Yeah, those!”

Dansha: “And there is someone there coming up with these characters and showing them to people?”

Peachy: “No! It was the mighty mystic mushroom! He came to me in a vision and invited me to take part in a grand gift swap, where one gives gifts to someone secret and receives gifts from someone else in turn. When I woke up from the vison, this letter was next to me.”

Dansha: “…..Peachy, I told you not to eat the toadstools again.”

Peachy: ”Hey, I’m perfectly fine AND I got a gift invitation!”

Dansha: “And you; why are you going through with this? You can’t possibly believe her!”

Spots: “I mean, I… kinda do? Somebody wrote that letter and I don’t think I would be able to convince Peachy not to go along with it if I tried.”

Peachy: “No, you wouldn’t!“

Spots: “Besides, she really insists she got this from someone mystic and that she’s done this before, and she’s never pranked me before.”

Peachy: “No, I haven’t!”

Spots: I’ll send you flying out of the mountain if you ever do, though.”

Peachy: “No, you won’t!”

Dansha: “You guys are duller than the whole rockface, you know that?”

Peachy: “Sure, whatever you say… Hey, does the letter say anything else about these two?”

Dansha: “Hmm… not much, just that they are living on a military base- Sorry, a secret military base- doing routine drills and training the last new soldiers, and that one is a problem girl that gives them headaches. Can relate.”

3/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)21:53 No. 141515 ID: f6204d
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Peachy: Okay, thanks Dansha! We’ll let you know when we are done!”

Dansha: “Hey, wait! Don’t you dare come call me in the middle of my lessons to write you a reply!”

Peachy: “No promises!”

Spots: “Tee hee, this is gonna be fun! Do you have any ideas where we can get something for a gift?”

Peachy: “I know just the place!”

4/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)21:55 No. 141516 ID: f6204d
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Peachy: “Here we are. Anybody’s trash is a lanky’s treasure, after all.”

Spots: “You sure it’s okay for us to take stuff from here?”

Peachy: “Uh, sure! They already expanded this cave ages ago and they are mostly done with the new buildings. Most of this stuff got brought just in case, anyways.”

Spots: “Well, if you say so..”

Peachy: “Come on, let’s start with that bomb crate over there. We can dash with the other stuff if we see someone coming later.”

5/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)21:56 No. 141517 ID: f6204d
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Peachy: “Hey, there, O-zone! I heard you like carrying big guns and all sorts of crafty doohickeys, so I made a big crafty cannon, like the ones folks talk about when telling tales from abroad, just for you!”

“Its ammunition is made of broken tools and training spears that’ve been thrown away and picked up over time. Many of them are kinda dulled, but they’ll probably hurt a lot when you shoot them at your enemies!”

Spots: “I helped make the cannon!”

Peachy: “Oh, yeah. Spots helped me lay down the brick work for your cannon. She’s learning how to work in construction and is really good at putting blocks and concrete together!”

Spots: “Mmhm!”

Peachy: “We even got some bombs and took out the gunpowder so you can try it out without having to use your own!”

Spots: “Getting it out of the bombs was a pain, but hopefully three whole bags of it is enough for a good load of shots!”

6/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)21:57 No. 141518 ID: f6204d
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Spots: “For Mne-mosyne, I got a big carrying bag and attached one of our best blankets to it, so not only can you carry your weapons in it, but you can use your powers to fill up the blanket with air like a tarpaulin and ride the wind!

Peachy: “Ride the wind! Woo!”

Spots: “Peachy helped me put it together too, so don’t forget to thank her for that.”

Peachy: “I learned to sew!”

7/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)22:00 No. 141519 ID: f6204d
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Peachy: “And to top it all off, we also prepared some holiday sweetened bread, so you can fill up your belly or share it with your friends.”

Spots: “They’re mixed with sugar and cinnamon! We only get to make them on special occasions!”

8/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)22:02 No. 141520 ID: f6204d
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Dansha: “That’s a nice chimney you two made, but you better be ready to tear it down before a stickler asks what you are trying to build.”

Peachy: “Don’t worry, our giftees will take it away before anyone comes snooping. Come on, Spots; help me put it there in the center. It’s gotta be inside the mushroom circle.”

Spots: “Here is fine?”

Peachy: “Perfect! Did you bring the bread?”

Spots: “I put it inside the bagpack.”

Peachy: “Great! Now we just have to wait.”

Dansha: “Look, I agreed to write you a response and come along because I want to know who you are giving all this junk to and I don’t want you to get hurt, but if it involves standing around some mushrooms for who-knows-how-long like idiots, I’m gonna go back home and this mess is gonna be on your heads.”

10/10 Peachy 2024/01/05(Fri)22:05 No. 141522 ID: f6204d
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Ozone: “Oh, good. The lodge’s summoning room does work after all. It’s interesting to witness more esoteric ways to connect with the grander multiverse. Now let’s see what our friends abroad sent u- wait, what is-?”


Merry belated Christmas and New Year, Ozone, Mnemosyne and Crosstheline, and a very Happy Three Kings Day!

1/3 Ssus Ssus 2024/01/05(Fri)22:06 No. 141523 ID: f6204d
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“Ah! A shape-shifting, hyper-active manifestation of Chaos. Most interesting! This brings quite the insightful glimpse into extraplanar denizens. Signing up into this interdimensional holiday gift trade was a fantastic idea, if I say so myself.”

“The only caveat might be that pleasing such an effusive and fickle specimen would likely not be an easy feat.”

2/3 Ssus Ssus 2024/01/05(Fri)22:08 No. 141525 ID: f6204d
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“Luckily, I have just the thing!”

3/3 Ssus Ssus 2024/01/05(Fri)22:09 No. 141526 ID: f6204d
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Dear Gurial Gamel Soul,

Pleased to make your acquaintance! My name is Ssus Ssus. Budding salikai scientist and your assigned Secret Santa.

I notice on your info sheet that you loved both pranks and money. A very relatable taste, I’m quite certain. So much so that I decided to bring a gift that caters to both, in the form of a zeny nano-replicant gun.

This device was designed and employed by a powerful group of counterfeiters, in order to both perfect their trade and create a deadly weapon to defend themselves against authorities. Unfortunately for them, they only managed to create a single working prototype before their operation went awry and I managed to procure it from among the evidence piled up outside their main base.

Each shot fires a set of self-replicating nano-machines that turn everything in a twelve inch radius of the hit area into seamless, randomly-serialized coins worth one zeny each, which is the main official currency employed all across known space within the Milky Way Galaxy.

It’s perfect for both breaking your buddies’ painstakingly-made house of cards and start a get-rich-quick scheme in the process. Just please, don’t point it towards any person or creature, living or dead. That would be extremely irresponsible and potentially horrifying.

I wish you some very merry festivities and some cheeky, yet ultimately harmless, adventures to come!

Happy holidays, Gurial.


And a very Merry Three Kings Day to you, Derklord. I hope you are having some truly splendid holidays!

Nalthar 2024/01/06(Sat)16:43 No. 141527 ID: 76615e
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Martah: "Oh wow, its a fish... with a horn... and full of cogs? How bizzare, oh wait! This must be one of those fetish things, like the kind summoners use. Now how do you activate it?"

https://youtu.be/-ozbX-yM8ao?si=p0pneRAk5QiQ567c

Martah: "ACK!"
"oh, I see."
"What a fun thing! Thanks Spikey"

Trisha's Gift Trisha 2024/01/06(Sat)21:36 No. 141530 ID: 0d1c28
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Trisha: "Oh wow Jack! are you a robot! that's super cool! I know what every robot would want! A super cool toy of their lord and savior!"

1/5 Ssus Ssus 2024/01/15(Mon)17:37 No. 141546 ID: f6204d
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Dear Misses Autumn and Apricot,

I am deeply obliged by your heartfelt holiday gift. I can scarcely believe the interest and effort you put into my project!

I found your trash to be of the highest quality, and has already contributed greatly to my research.

I’m happy to say that with it, I have been able to formulate and fully develop my first batch of autonomous, multi-cellular trash fauna!

These “dumplings”, as I have designated them, are able to feed off of base refuse and common garbage, and have the potential to self-replicate through budding upon reaching their mature stage, making them the ideal bottom-feeders to form the basis for the next stage of my ecosystem. A sad role to be sure, given their docility and sociable behaviour, but a real ecosystem cannot exist without a fully-fledged food chain.

Thank you both once again for this wonderful present and for your passionate commitment to my work.

May all your endeavours come to fruition and are just as lovingly supported!

Happy Holidays,

Ssus Ssus.


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Donut, thank you so much for this and your many other gifts throughout the year!

2/5 Peachy 2024/01/15(Mon)17:40 No. 141547 ID: f6204d
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Peachy: “Wow! Look how the colors match!”

Spots: “And it really does stay warm! I wonder how they do it.”

Peachy: “Craftmanship? Magic? No, wait. Magi-craftmanship!”

Spots: “And it’s so soft! Amazing how something so strong can be so soft!”

Peachy: “Thanks a lot, Ozone and Mne-mo-syne! These scarfs are really out of this world!”

3/5 Peachy 2024/01/15(Mon)17:42 No. 141550 ID: f6204d
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Peachy: “And, uh, thank you for sending a message in this voice-machine and a drawing on how to use it. We wouldn’t have known the scarfs were special if you had sent a letter. Our official letter-reader is..uh..busy.”

4/5 Peachy 2024/01/15(Mon)17:43 No. 141551 ID: f6204d
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Dansha: “We did magic. We just did a magic! They are going to come here! They are going to punish us! They are going to hang us! I’m gonna get hanged! I’m gonna get hanged and the finals are next week!”

Spots: “Relax, Dansha, we can clean up!”

Peachy: “I’m… sure a ride home on the sled will make her feel better.”

5/5 Peachy 2024/01/15(Mon)17:44 No. 141552 ID: f6204d
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Peachy: “And, not to be a jerk, but the little blobby flesh creature you also gave us is kinda creepy.”

Spots: “It doesn’t get mentioned anywhere in your message, either.”

Peachy: “We’ll probably have to leave it here on the mushroom patch. Alien blobbys like toadstools, right?”

Green Sci-Fi Scarf get!

Red Sci-fi Scarf get!

Nanoweaver’s Meat Crime get!


Thank you, Cross-the-Line, Joyous Holidays and Happy New Year!

Trisha 2024/01/23(Tue)18:01 No. 141584 ID: 0d1c28
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>>141457

Trisha: "WOW! Best. Gift Ever. I've never played a future game before"

* * *

some time later...

Trisha: "The 3D is so real... I feel like it's gonna reach out and grab me..."

1/5 Gurier 2024/04/08(Mon)13:41 No. 142001 ID: 3f89df
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I spotted a group of travelers lucky enough to receive my blessing!

I ran up to them, making sure to put on my nicest grin: “Why hello there, average pale ape and retired big bosomed ginormous mommy procreation robot lizard! I am Gurier! And I’m so delighted to give you my gift!”

I see the giant dragon mommy procreation lizard, and the very dull, boring human
Eye each other nervously, the mommy speaks up first, “So.. who’s going to tell him….”

2/5 Gurier 2024/04/08(Mon)13:41 No. 142002 ID: 3f89df
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The human continues, “Well… not me, I’m bad with weird chaotic robot things.”
The lizard sighs and then turns her attention to me. “Sweetie, it’s a “Secret Santa” gift. You're not supposed to… you know, tell us who your gift’s for?”
Oh, but that just makes it so much fun!
“I knew that! I thought it best to present you with your gift!” The male eyes the lizard with a confused look, which responds with a casual shrug; he continues, “That being….”

3/5 Gurier 2024/04/08(Mon)13:41 No. 142003 ID: 3f89df
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I conjure a little blue present bow through my cherry and place it on my special lever. “Why a chance to use my magic, of course! It’s entirely random, so who knows what it’s going to be!”
The human seems to reach for me, but the lizard grabs his hand

4/5 Gurier 2024/04/08(Mon)13:41 No. 142004 ID: 3f89df
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“Why are you so quick to trust this weird magic, gremlin robot thing? For all I know this thing could be from my competitor Feena’s Funa Brothel, and I know that Feena has always held a grudge over the popularity of our bots brothel, besides Mike…. Who knows where that lever has been….. I shiver just thinking about it.”
Mike looks appropriately defensive, which serves him right from getting cock-blocked from life’s greatest pleasure, or is the term just blocked? Either way, Mike’s talking now!
“Why are you so curious about this little guy? I mean, true he might also be a murder-loving sex robot, but I’m sure it’ll be fine! Booty had probably killed me more times than this little scamp ever could.”
“What.”
“Oh right, huh. I guess I never told you about that, anyway whose to say where or where that lever’s been, who knows maybe It would….. Enjoy it……”
“Okay, but before you pull that thing, maybe describe what it does? Or what might happen?”
“Okay, okay…” I see Mike get down to my level, talking to me in what seems to be some kind of baby talk. “Hey, little guy, may you ask us what will happen if we pull that lever?”
“Oh, well…. I can’t say exactly what you know, my magic being completely random, but I assure you it’s something completely great and will not backfire!”

5/5 Gurier 2024/04/08(Mon)13:42 No. 142005 ID: 3f89df
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“However, if it does backfire..I won’t be responsible for you…. Suddenly losing your clothes and getting all naked, you being set on fire, your insides becoming outsides, nothing happens, I explode, you get transformed into a marketable plushie, you get sprayed with water, you getting someone else's gift instead, you and Boudica switching bodies or voices, you switching sex, the rapture beginning, your forced to 100% Fear and Hunger, and Fear and Hunger Termina, I end up transforming into an evil sex robot, I learn of all of your sins, and all of your mistakes, Your form getting shifted in some sort of way, You transform into money, I kill Santa, and much, much more!”

Those two seem to be gazing dumbfounded obviously basking in the beauty of what can happen when I backfire.
“But... it’s most likely just going to do something lame and really boring, like give you what you wish most, drop you in a fantasy dimension where you can live out your greatest fantasies, or give you a puppy. I hate the puppy choice.”
Mike expectantly looks at Boudica, who looks to me, and after a while, sighs, “Fine…” Mike makes a joyous human noise while Boudica and her large mounds approach me. “But NO funny businesses out of you, okay?” I look at her and sense a warmth in my heart that I’ve never felt before. “Yes, mommy.” She immediately recoils back and begins to clench her fist, but she looks at Mike and lowers her aggressive demeanor.

Meanwhile, I see Mike as Happy as he can be reaching towards my lever…

(Happy Late Christmas Tippler! Sorry for the bad art quality, and potential character assassination's!)

1/3 Derklord's Perfonification of Her Nightmare as an appearance of an la 2024/04/08(Mon)13:47 No. 142006 ID: 3f89df
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Whew, Glad to be out of Derklord’s mind after a while; now, let’s see who's on my list…. hm……
Well, what do you give a bird and a fairy? Something funny, but what…..
Well, I could go into their minds and learn every little aspect about them, and I would also know what places they appear in Lazy Fairy except for POV 7, but nah, let’s do it old school.

For the bird, I’ll include a cat; how about a small little kitty cat with an orange bell, whose coat is a mixture of a tiger with a light brown coat and some brown eyes? She’ll be playful, but she’ll hold an obnoxious truth. She’ll meow in the middle of the night at 11:00 a.m. mwyahahahahahaahhah.

For the Fairy, I’ll give her a sword, not just any sword, but a sword that A fairy can use. It might not be practical, but hey, it’ll work. This also holds a secret, and those who hold this sword summon a more petite fairy by their side that’s the embodiment of RPG Fairy tropes, mwhahahahahahaha

I love being a personification of fear, especially when no one will ever know it’s me. I can be mildly disruptive and laugh evilly without being called an old-time trope! Mwhahahahahahahahha!

Okay, that’s enough laughing. Hmm…. Something’s missing. Oh, I know something perfect! It's a book complete with every single NSFW image Of Autumn that Donut has created hahahahaahhahaahahaha

Okay, much better! Now, all it needs is a note! Oooh, I thought of something perfect.
“Hohohoho Merry Christmas, Autumn and Apirocot. I hope these gifts will add delightful cheer to your Christmas. I’ve been viewing you and your friends' adventures, and I’m grateful to inform you that, with your due diligence in helping people in the guild, you were on the nice list this term.

With your gifts, I also included a book You think you’ll like; it’s why you're on the nice list. Your soul isn’t the only thing that’s “nice,” Apricot, hohohohoh I must say those curves don’t lie, you're not so naughty yourself, Autumn hohohhohoh

If you're looking for a good time with you two, call me at my number: 951-262-3062

Signed: Santa.”

2/3 Derklord's Perfonification of Her Nightmare as an appearance of an la 2024/04/08(Mon)13:47 No. 142007 ID: 3f89df
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Perfect. Now, just tie it all together, make sure there are breathing holes for the cat, put on the bow, put it under the tree stealthily, make sure they don’t see it’s me,

3/3 Derklord's Perfonification of Her Nightmare as an appearance of an la 2024/04/08(Mon)13:47 No. 142008 ID: 3f89df
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find a stealthy spot, and wait to see their reaction. This is going to be great.

Happy Belated Christmas Donut! (Sorry for the bad art), And sorry that Autumn and Apricot got paired with the one character that wants to ruin their Christmas

tippler 2024/04/09(Tue)18:12 No. 142012 ID: 9ea24b
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>>142005
Mike, having experienced many unhappy ends, is confident in his ability to survive an unlucky fate. He pulls Gurier's magic lever.

tippler 2024/04/09(Tue)18:14 No. 142013 ID: 9ea24b
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tippler immediately decides tragedy should strike and Mike is transformed into a rooster. Roosters are intelligent creatures who feel pain, but sadly do not have the capacity to maintain a human personality. Mike has essentially perished.

tippler 2024/04/09(Tue)18:15 No. 142014 ID: 9ea24b
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The relief is so great that Boudica becomes Catholic. It is a merry Christmas indeed.